Of course, at the time I could only imagine how wonderful my future customers were going to be. Over the past year, I’ve had the good fortune to see that my Twinki-Winki customers are truly the lovely people I imagined. But not only that, they are an inspiration to me.
Reflecting beauty.
When I think of my Twinki-Winki customers and how they inspire me, I immediately want to reflect back to them how beautiful they are.
Truth is, I don’t think we see our own beauty most of the time.
We need others to reflect back to us the qualities we desire to possess. That’s how we realize that those desires are already a part of us. We already are who we want to be.
We’re just continually catching up with our expanding selves.
if it’s true
each of us
holds up
a mirror
for others
to see themselves
but we spend
most of our lives
unable
to recognize ourselves
then
my life’s purpose
has never seemed so clear:
I wish to be
the mirror
in which you can see
how truly beautiful
you are
Express your creativity.
Pay attention to the art in your life. Especially the art in your home and your closet. Because what you surround yourself with and what you wear influences your mood. There’s art you can see, smell, hear, watch, read, touch, taste, and wear. Think about the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the books you read, the clothes you wear, the perfumes you love, or even the food you eat.
Find art in those things that you appreciate for their beauty and their emotional power.
Find art that makes you feel good to be you.
Let it delight your senses and lift your spirit. And then milk it for all it’s worth by making it part of your daily life.
By making feel-good art, I get to share my joy with you.
That’s why you’ll always find me making vibrant and cheerful art that I can turn into playful prints for my fashion accessories and home decor products.
And then you can share your love for life through vibrant products that let you express yourself. Smile.
And what I know to be true after 20-plus years of art-making is that expressing your creativity is an act of self-love.
“When we are creative we express the joy of being alive.”
- Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For boa scarves go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/boa-scarves
For coffee mugs go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/coffee-mugs
For tote bags go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/bags
It just so happens that my joy comes from working in many different mediums.
The side jobs I’ve loved (and loved to hate).
To find my place in the world, I did a lot of weird stuff. Sometimes the work lasted only a day like wrapping Christmas presents. Sometimes I did the work on the weekends like waiting tables. I didn’t always like it, but it gave me the income that supported my dream to make art. And now looking back, I can see that it taught me to trust myself.
Namely, I learned that my desire to make art would not lead me straight off a cliff. Keep in mind that leaving a well-paying job like interior design to make art never seemed like a very good idea to anyone but me.
Side jobs I’ve had:
- waiting tables
- wrapping Christmas presents
- making table decorations for events
- making candles
- making theater props
- organizing libraries
- painting murals
- teaching German
- teaching English
- teaching art
The yearning to keep on learning.
I can only explain my hunger to keep experimenting with different kinds of art projects as a deep yearning to keep learning.
Because let’s face it, the other choice I could have made is to become an EXPERT in one kind of art-making. I mean. it’s sooooo much easier to show up in the world saying, THIS is what I do. Instead of saying, THIS is what I do. AND this. AND this. AND this. AND this.
But forever true to who I am, I’ve spent over 20 years learning how to use software to create and run my projects.
In a nutshell, I’ve been messing around with making videos and audios for years. And then came book-making. Then I figured out how to have an online shop. And this meant learning how to create products that can be printed on demand (POD) to sell in my shop. Even sending out a weekly newsletter and keeping a blog are skills I’m still honing.
The teaching creativity.
Okay so, I wanna be totally honest here. None of my experimentation nor learning has brought me consistent income. Yikes.
And I'm sure it looks like I’ve never been able to figure out what I’m doing with my life.
I mean, I know I’m following my joy. But my biggest fear is that somehow, in spite of my eternal optimism, I'm managing to wreck my life.
Ya see being a rebel comes naturally to me. It’s practically impossible for me to not let my desires guide me through life. But it’s an entirely different thing to own my desires. Because that requires huge leaps of faith.
When I finally owned up to teaching creativity as my purpose, I had a revelatory matrix-style experience. No lie.
I could see that what I’ve been doing all these years has not been wrecking my life. Au contraire. I’ve been preparing myself.
Lo and behold I need to know all about making audios, videos, demos, worksheets, eBooks, and all kinds of software to put together an online course. Yep, it’s been illuminating.
Over 20 years of making art and over 12 years of teaching kids have gone by. I’m a teacher, damn it.
And this teaching creativity thing is my biggest dream ever. Oh, yeah.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
- Maya Angelou
Happiness will always be fleeting if you can’t feel good enough.
The truth is that you can't force your self-worth to rise. Your feelings of worthiness will increase as a consequence of making it a priority to practice happy.
This means you’re gonna have to remind yourself every single day that:
You always deserve to feel good.
Happy is an attitude.
So what if feeling happy didn’t depend on anything but your attitude?
It seems so simple, doesn’t it? Well, it may be simple to understand. But it’s pretty hard to carry out.
That’s why you’ve gotta set the intention to practice happy every day. Attitude is everything.
There is no right or wrong way for you to be happy. Just imagine flopping on your bed at the end of a grueling day.
And right before you smack into your bed face-first, you catch a glimpse of that stylish throw pillow of yours. The one that says WHOOPEE.
It’s your little reminder to bask in that happy-to-be-alive feeling for even just a moment. Because no matter how lopsided your day, if you can still say WHOOPEE then it can’t be all bad.
You always deserve to feel good.
With every little thing you do to feel good, you create momentum. And that momentum will attract more thoughts about feeling good to you. So even just basking in a happy memory for a minute will help you create momentum.
Get your feel-good momentum going and you’ll see! Start with a thought or start with an action. The momentum picks up either way. Because your thoughts lead to actions and your actions lead to thoughts. If your thoughts feel low, jump into action first. It will activate a higher thought.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.”
- Charles Swindoll
This is an ideas list to help you practice happy. It’s only a list to get you started. The best list will always be the one you write for yourself.
Grab a sheet of paper and go through the list below. Write down at least one thing you can do each day for a week.
• Play with your pet
• Dance around the house
• Sing your favorite song in the shower
• Sing to your plants
• Read your favorite poem out loud
• Write, draw, or collage in your journal
• Take a bubble bath• Give yourself a hand or foot massage
• Take a nap for no good reason but because you can
• Eat a bowl of kid's cereal as a snack
• Make pancakes with lots of chocolate chips
• Add cookie chunks to your ice cream
• Bake some cookies with your kids
• Make a pizza with your kids• Make your own popsicles with fruit juice
• Have a tea and cupcake party with your kids
• Blow bubbles and watch them float away
• Hold a kaleidoscope to the light and keep turning it
• Play with a Slinky or a yo-yo
• Play a card game with someone
• Play a table game with someone
• Play dominoes with someone
• Make a pillow fort out of sofa cushions, pillows, cardboard boxes, and blankets
• Stay in your pajamas all day
• Read comic books
• Watch cartoons
• Watch a movie you liked as a kid
• Do a movie marathon with your kids (they can watch from the pillow fort)
• Have an indoor picnic with someone
• Make yourself lunch and then serve it on your best china and silverware
• Write a card for someone
• Make a funny video with your phone for someone
• Dress up in your favorite outfit even if you don’t leave the house
• Clean out a closet or drawer, and then give away any good stuff you don’t need anymore
• Play Karaoke in your living room
• Get out your flashlight, dim the lights, and make hand shadows
• Get out some paper and scissors and make paper doll chains
• Get out some markers or crayons and doodle in a notebook
• Get out some markers or crayons and color a mandala or coloring page
• Get out some acrylic paints and paint rocks (maybe after a scavenger hunt)
• Get out some Legos and build something cool
• Get out some fun stickers and write notes for yourself (stick them on your mirror or fridge)
• Sign up for an exercise class or creative workshop and make new friends
• Sign up for an online class or creative workshop and explore subjects that spark your curiosity
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For throw pillows go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/accent-pillows
• You’re never avoiding the work itself.
Your resistance shows up in your overthinking about the work. You get caught in a loop of spiraling thoughts about not having enough time, not knowing how to start, not having the right materials, not being in the right space, not feeling inspired, etc.
When you think about the actual work, you feel excited.
You feel excited about using new materials you can’t wait to play with. You feel excited about finishing wherever you left off last time. You feel excited about trying a new technique.
So what you’re avoiding is not the work but the discomfort of your thoughts about yourself in relation to the work.
• You’re not short on time or energy.
You’ve been expending tons of energy pushing yourself down and squashing your creativity. And you’ve been spending way more time avoiding and thinking about not doing it than actually doing what you want to do.
Being creative is not hard for you.
What’s hard is your resistance to expressing your creativity. It drains all your energy, keeps you from trying new things, and leaves you feeling stuck in a rut.
By easing up on all the effort it takes to keep yourself down, you free up a buttload of energy.
You’re not short on time or energy. As soon as you drop your resistance, you get back all the energy and time you need.
You feel like no matter how hard you try to organize, prioritize, systemize, or automize, you just can’t seem to keep your head above water.
And you’ll never find a solution by searching for ways to be more productive. Nope.
And here’s why: You don’t have a time problem.
What you think is a time management problem is actually an energy management problem.
And your resistance is creating some serious energy leaks for you.
The connection between your time and energy.
Think of your energy as your capacity to feel good, your source of creativity, and your wealth. In other words, your energy is your feel-good battery and your vitality depends on it.
Okay so if you depend on your feel-good battery to power yourself through the day, then you need to charge it daily. You do that by taking care of your physical and mental well-being.
But what happens when your battery has a leak? And no matter how much you charge it, it never fills up?
Well, what happens is that you feel drained, scattered, overwhelmed, and anxious.
Why?
Because you can’t function for long on a leaky battery. Life is simply too damn hard.
Your resistance can show up as false needs like this:
• The need to stay super busy and perpetually distracted
• The need to hold on to stuff you no longer need
• The need to overthink everything
• The need to care too much about what others think of you
• The need to put yourself last
• The need to make every decision way too important
• The need to prove your worthiness because you don’t feel good enough
• The need to do it all yourself and avoid asking for help
It’s not hard to imagine how these false needs drain the life out of you.
These energy leaks are sneaky. They show up in your life as multitasking, clutter, worrying, caring too much, indecisiveness, and perfectionism. They drain your energy on a regular basis and you may not even notice anymore.
Yep. You've got time going down the drain, baby. That’s time you could use for self-care, learning, and nurturing your creativity.
Discover what’s draining your energy and you’ll immediately find ways to get your time back.
Here’s what’s coming up:
Part 1. Multitasking
Part 2. Clutter
Part 3. Worrying
Part 4. Caring too much
Part 5. Indecisiveness
Part 6. Perfectionism
Some of your energy leaks are super easy to fix. It’s all about becoming aware of where your time is going and making better choices. Others you’ll have to chip away at. But the good news is that as soon as you feel more energized, everything gets easier. And it won’t seem nearly as hard to make changes.
I’m personally struggling with all of these energy leaks and learning as I go. I’ve got some great TIPS to share with you.
And I hope you’ll walk away with a few ideas you can put to use. Oh, yeah.
Keep in mind that your energy leaks show up not only in activities that drain you but also in places and people that drain you. If you want help with identifying what’s draining or boosting your energy, check out the self-survey at the end.
Our brains are not wired for multitasking. It turns out that what we think is multitasking is actually switching between tasks. And all that switching is a huge energy leak.
Think of multitasking as being in a state of constant distraction.
We’ve unfortunately adapted to a way of working that keeps us distracted and makes us feel scattered. You may think that this doesn’t apply to you. But chances are you don’t even notice you’re doing it anymore.
Most people’s office jobs require them to divide themselves in two. One part of their brain is supposed to concentrate on their work, while the other part is supposed to stay on top of emails and messages from clients and team members. A few hours of focused work without calls, meetings, emails, or messages is rare.
Take it from me, working from home has its own set of problems. You’ve got more freedom to structure your day. But you’ve also got more distractions creeping in from your personal life making it harder to keep office hours.
Be that as it may, you have a lot more choices than you probably realize when it comes to how you use your devices. Don’t forget that your devices are tools meant to make your life easier.
TIPS:
• Add distance.
When you want focused time, put your phone in a drawer, closet, or another room. If you sometimes have an overactive squirrel mind like me, then you know that out of sight is truly out of mind.
And when you’re done, let checking your phone be your reward.
• Make yourself accountable.
There are focus block groups online that you can join to make yourself accountable. Typically, you’ll have 50 minutes of uninterrupted time. And also a few minutes for checking in and out.
Personally, simply being connected to the internet is too tempting. So although this is not a good option for me, I know a lot of people like it.
• Connect only as needed.
This is what works best for me. If you need to read, study, or write with a device, don’t connect to the internet until you’ve completed your task. You can always reduce this uninterrupted time to small 15-minute chunks.
Because it’s not about how long you can go without using the internet. It’s about how well you can work during the time you’ve given yourself. Amen.
• Turn off notifications.
Giving apps the power to distract you every few minutes is making you feel overwhelmed. You can always schedule to check your notifications and your emails throughout the day. This tip alone has saved my sanity. No lie.
• Don’t keep your phone in the bedroom.
I swear by this one. If your phone is the last thing you look at before going to sleep and the first thing you look at when you wake up, then you have no life.
You’re completely disempowering yourself by letting everyone else’s lives take priority over yours. Be that clients, family, friends, or social media.
I have 99% of all my insights in the morning. That’s when I’m most creative. Starting my day with my phone is creative suicide for me.
Not so long ago, calling someone outside of their office hours was considered rude. But at some point, it’s become acceptable to message people at all hours and even expect a response. Why?
Because you’re always ON. And everyone knows it. But there’s an easy fix. Schedule time to be OFF.
Check your notifications, messages, and your emails one last time before dinner. Decide for yourself what you consider to be urgent. And let all the non-urgent things wait until the next day.
Don’t keep your phone in the bedroom. Leave it in a drawer, closet, or another room. You can always use an alarm clock to get up in the morning.
• Don’t look at screens in the bedroom.
The lights emitted by our screens stimulate our brains. You want the space where you sleep to be all about resting. Schedule your TV or movie time a few hours before bed. Create a wind-down routine that doesn’t include screens.
Read a book, write in a gratitude journal, make a list for the next day, flip through a magazine, listen to music or meditation audio, etc. And then see how quickly the quality of your sleep improves.
There seems to be no end to our physical clutter (like unwanted clothes and knick-knacks) and digital clutter (like notifications and messages). All this stuff is draining the life right out of you.
You’re expending your energy holding on to worries, relationships, friendships, projects, living situations, work, clothes, habits, guilt, judgment, old thinking patterns, etc. You think by holding on to your stuff, you’re making your life better somehow.
The irony is that holding on is only taking up precious space. It’s keeping you stuck.
Letting go is part of the process of honoring yourself. You can honor the life you once had, the choices you’ve made in the past, and your personal growth. And then you can let go of the things in your life that no longer serve you.
The ultimate reward for decluttering is you get more space for mental clarity.
I love to think of decluttering as a productive means of procrastinating. Not that avoiding my work is a good thing. But sometimes clearing stuff out and making space is the best way to prepare for things that feel too hard to start.
TIPS:
• Treat it like a break.
The best way to go about decluttering is to do it consistently for short periods. Make it a weekly habit to declutter some small areas. Treat it like a short break by turning on music, drinking tea, listening to a podcast, or whatever floats your boat.
Set a timer for 10-15 minutes. Grab an empty box or garbage bag and do what you can. Repeat until you can move on to another decluttering task.
• Start with what’s easy.
Some decluttering tasks are large and will take a long time to finish. So get some easy tasks out of the way first. Like any clutter that’s driving you crazy. It could be that desk drawer full of crap where you can never find a decent pen. Or that kitchen cabinet full of unusable Tupperware with missing lids. Smile.
And if you want a handy-dandy big-ass list of small decluttering tasks, click this link to check out my guide:
Why Decluttering Makes You Happy: Your 4-Step Decluttering Game Plan
Okay, so the reason we worry in the first place is because we honestly think we’re doing something to help. It makes us feel like we're taking action.
The only problem is that worrying isn’t helping us, it’s totally draining us.
Here’s why:
If your problem has a solution, then you don’t need to worry.
You can take the next step. You can ask for help. You can figure it out.
And if your problem doesn’t have a solution, then you don’t need to worry. It’s completely out of your control. Worrying about it won’t change a thing.
Worrying is like having a stupid song stuck in your head.
The harder you try to NOT think about it, the louder it gets.
So what you need is a better song to replace it. It’s not about finding a way to stop thinking, it’s about focusing your attention on something else.
TIPS:
• Get it out of your head.
Write down the big worries that have you feeling stuck right now. Name them. Get them out of your head and on paper.
Bonus points for saying them out loud in front of a mirror. It’s funny, but as soon as you say it out loud it immediately feels less important.
This simple act gives you perspective. It gives you the distance you need to think of solutions. Without that distance, even the smallest of worries can feel like an insurmountable problem.
• Replace that stupid song.
Write down a few activities you can do right now to focus your attention on something else. Like decluttering a drawer, going to a park, learning a new recipe, going to the library, etc. Pick things you’ve been wanting to do. Then choose one and do it!
• Be ready.
Keep your list of activities handy for the next time you’re stuck in worry-land. The faster you can react by jumping in to do something different, the easier it is to switch your focus.
• Never argue with someone who’s not in the room with you.
I got this one from the author and coach, Michael Neill. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve replayed or imagined arguments with people in my head. Not only is it completely ineffective for solving problems, but it can ruin your relationships.
Because if they’re not in the room with you, what you’re doing is having an argument with yourself and blaming it on them. Yikes.<
And if a mini workshop (taught by yours truly) to spark your creativity and surrender your worries sounds like fun, click this link to learn more:
Worry Dolls Play Time: A Guided Mini Workshop For Letting Go And Worrying Less
Caring too much about what everyone else thinks is a huge energy leak. A lot like indecisiveness and worrying, you go into overthinking mode.
Over-caring can show up as never saying no to anything. Or never rocking the boat by avoiding standing up for yourself. It can also show up as doubting your decisions because others don’t agree with you. Or taking criticism way too personally.
The result is that you wind up feeling overwhelmed. You may even feel resentful because others don’t appreciate what you do for them. Or you may feel disappointed because your intention to make others happy backfires.
The bottom line is that caring too much isn’t making you or anyone else happy.
TIPS:
• Fill your cup.
Spend time doing something for yourself. Think about any activities or hobbies that light you up. What about being creative, taking a class, joining a book club, or walking in the woods?
• Take the pressure off.
Begin to accustom the people in your life to new boundaries. Instead of immediately saying yes, start saying let me think about it. Give yourself the space to decide if it’s something you really want to do.
Take the pressure off by simply allowing yourself to not have to decide on the spot.
• Live your values.
Recognizing when the need to people-please pops up is priceless. Because that’s when you give yourself the grace to remember your values.
You can learn to be mindful about spending time on what matters most to you. Remember, a “no” to one thing is always a “yes” to something else.
I’m pretty much on the other end of the spectrum when it comes to people-pleasing. I’m over-protective of my time. But I still struggle with doubting my decisions. I must remind myself consistently of my purpose to help me show up and live my values.
When you want or need to make decisions that you can’t wrap your head around, you lose a lot of energy in overthinking mode. There are of course big life decisions that require months to figure out.
However, most of the decisions we grapple with are not so important. We make them important because we worry about what will happen if we make the wrong decision. And then we beat ourselves up about being indecisive.
It’s a horrible loop to get trapped in. And it can make you feel depressed and helpless about how to move forward.
TIPS:
• Start small.
Take action on small decisions every day. Keep yourself from overthinking about your options. Just decide on one thing and see how that feels.
At some point, you’ll inevitably choose something you don’t like. Maybe it’s the wrong meal, the wrong shoes, the wrong hotel, etc. But you’ll get over it. And you’ll be learning to trust yourself in the process.
• Get creative.
Take a class on something you’ve always been curious about. It’s okay to pick something that feels completely frivolous. Just follow your curiosity.
Making art is inherently about experimenting and making mistakes. So you’ll be building your confidence as you nurture your creativity.
Trust me when I say that expressing your creativity is always always always the fastest way to feeling good. I should know, I’ve devoted most of my life to my art. Smile.
And if you want some useful tips about how to give yourself the time, space, and energy to nurture your creativity, click this link to find out:
How To Woo Your Creativity (What’s The Big Idea, Part 3)
I’m a perfectionist who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about being a perfectionist anymore. I still care about doing my best, but I no longer confuse striving for excellence with being a perfectionist.
There’s a fundamental difference between the two.
Striving for excellence means taking pride in doing your best work. And if the results of your efforts don’t meet your expectations or don’t get the validation you were hoping for, you get over it.
I mean, you’re definitely not happy about it. But you think: I messed up and now I know better. It’s not personal.
But when you’re a perfectionist, it’s extremely personal.
Perfectionism isn’t simply about high standards and perfecting the things you do. It’s about perfecting your imperfect self. Ouch.
If the results of your efforts don’t meet your expectations or don’t get the validation you were hoping for, you’re crushed. Because your sense of self-worth is linked to the results of your efforts.
You’re coming from a place of not feeling good enough and a deep desire to earn your worthiness.
So a failure is not a sign of a project going bad, it’s a sign that you’re bad. And you think: I am bad so I must try harder and sacrifice more.
It’s not hard to see that being a perfectionist is the mother of all energy leaks.
TIPS:
• Ask for help.
Perfectionists tend to be control freaks. Trying to control everything is part of wanting things to be perfect. But it’s a completely unrealistic strategy and leads directly to burnout.
The only antidote is to let yourself receive help. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable. But it also empowers you.
First of all, by asking for help you’re being kind to yourself. You can’t beat yourself into being better. But you can learn to forgive yourself for messing up.
Second, by asking for help you’re allowing for space. You can slow down, feel connected, and appreciate the little things. You’re focusing on what matters most to you.
It may feel counter-intuitive, but asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Try asking family members or friends for help. What if the kids do the dishes? What if a friend does your grocery shopping? What if you can pay a kid in your neighborhood to wash the car or pull weeds? What if you can pay someone to launder and iron your clothes?
• Watch your language.
Catch how you talk to yourself. Don’t be mean. Don’t be a bully. Set the intention to treat yourself the way you would a friend.
Here’s the thing, you can’t expect others to do for you what you can’t do for yourself. So it’s time to practice a little self-compassion, baby.
The irony is that when you like yourself more, you have more compassion for others. You end up liking others more. And this crazy and beautiful thing called life becomes a whole lot easier.
• Unfollow as needed.
Comparison angst is real. Unfollow anyone on social media that makes you feel bad about yourself. Period. I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa.
• Let it be easy.
Make progress on small projects. Keep a journal for doodling, drawing mandalas, or collage. The beauty of small creative projects is that they feel very playful. It’s easy to jump in for short periods and quickly see your progress.
Perfectionists feel way too much pressure. And the best way to ease that pressure is to take tiny steps via tiny tasks that help you see you’re making progress.
• Practice being mindful.
You can practice mindfulness in a million ways. But my favorite way is to simply pay attention while doing the most ordinary of routine activities like folding clothes, chopping vegetables, or washing the dishes.
Notice your breath, your skin, the light, the air, the colors, smells, and sounds. Paying attention to your senses gets you into the present moment.
Being in the present moment helps you appreciate being part of the process of life itself. For a moment you forget all about not measuring up, failing, being rejected, or disappointing others. And you let yourself go with the flow.
• Learn something new.
Remember how I said that I’m a perfectionist who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about being a perfectionist anymore? Well, a lifetime of making art has shown me two very important things.
First, taking classes and learning new things is how I stay hopeful, optimistic, energetic, and enthusiastic. There’s nothing like making yourself a beginner for opening up possibilities.
Second, immersing myself in the process is where the joy is. Again, it’s about being in the present moment. But also it’s about learning to trust that the outcome will take care of itself.
And if you want some great tips to help you cultivate an attitude of being willing to try more, click this link to learn how:
Try Something New: 10 Ways To Stay Young At Heart
Self-Survey.
It’s time for a little self-discovery. This quick self-survey helps you think about activities, places, and people that affect your energy.
Ask yourself:
1. What activities drain me?
2. Who are the people that suck the life out of me?
3. What places leave me feeling completely exhausted?
4. What activities light me up and energize me?
5. Who are the people that make me feel like dancing?
6. What places leave me feeling recharged and refreshed?
Conclusion.
Being creative is not hard. What’s hard is your resistance to expressing your creativity. It drains all your energy, keeps you from trying new things, and leaves you feeling stuck in a rut.
The truth is that your resistance is creating some serious energy leaks for you.
These energy leaks are sneaky. They can show up in your life as multitasking, clutter, worrying, caring too much, indecisiveness, and perfectionism. They drain your energy on a regular basis and you may not even notice anymore.
Discover what’s draining your energy and you’ll immediately find ways to get your time back.
Keep in mind that your energy leaks show up not only in activities that drain you but also in places and people that drain you.
Some of your energy leaks are super easy to fix. It’s all about becoming aware of where your time is going and making better choices. Others you’ll have to chip away at. But the good news is that as soon as you feel more energized, everything gets easier. And it won’t seem nearly as hard to make changes.
You can be young and stodgy. Or you can be old and lively. What matters most is your willingness to try something new.
So take a gander at the following examples and imagine yourself trying something new.
Do it for your creativity and vitality.
Do it for the fun of it.
Do it because you can. Damn it.
1. Get moving
Regular physical activity helps improve your overall health by improving your strength, coordination, flexibility, and balance.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be fit to get fit. You just need to move your butt.
Exercise is simply moving your body. Any purposeful activity you engage in that makes you move your body is exercise.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t kill yourself in a spinning class. Don’t count calories. Don’t do it for any other reason than to stay young at heart.
Choose activities you actually enjoy. And maintain a routine that you can stick to. The regularity of showing up for yourself creates its own momentum that helps you keep going.
And you get extra points for engaging with others (see number 3).
Examples:
• Walking, hiking, running, biking, swimming
• Stretching, yoga, pilates
• Dancing
• Tai chi
• Gardening
2. Get out and connect with nature
Take your daily walk in a park. Watch a sunset. Gaze at the stars in the clear night sky. Rejoice at the sight of a rainbow.
We are part of nature. And appreciating nature is essential to our well-being.
Extra points for sitting down to sketch a flower in your journal. And for engaging with others by going camping.
Examples:
• Walking in a park
• Hiking in the woods
• Camping
• Gardening
3. Get friendly and meet more people
Your mental health is directly linked to your capacity for social connection. So get friendly.
I’m talking about real human-to-human connection here. And not the kind via your phone or computer screens. Sigh.
Get out of the house and go places just for social interaction. This includes your favorite coffee shops and bookstores. And having lunch with your friends.
But make it a point to make new acquaintances and friends. Take a look at groups or regular meetings in your local community.
Examples:
• Join a book club
• Join a community garden
• Join a hiking club
• Join a neighborhood clean-up group
• Take an evening class at your community college
• Go to a concert in your neighborhood
• Go to events at your public library
• Go to events at your local church
4. Have fun by embracing your inner child
Don’t forget to add laughter to your day. Do your crazy little happy dance. Sing in the shower.
Think about all the stuff you used to love to do as a kid. Let yourself be silly.
Extra points for making completely useless stuff. And for being playful with others, of course.
Examples:
• Play board games with your friends
• Keep a journal full of doodles
• Make model boats that don’t float
• Make a weird bowl out of clay
• Fly a kite with a kid
• Play dress-up while organizing your closet
5. Engage your brain
Get away from your screens and engage your lovely big brain to increase focus, concentration, and memory.
Try playing the following games.
Examples:
• Scrabble
• Jigsaw puzzles
• Sudoku
• Crossword puzzles
• Chess
• Brain games
6. Challenge yourself
If engaging your brain is the cake, then challenging yourself to try something new is the icing on top. It gets you out of doing the same old same old every day.
Challenge yourself to switch up your routines.
Meet your friends at a different restaurant than usual. Go to a different supermarket to buy your groceries. Try buying foods you don’t normally eat. Read a book in a genre you wouldn’t normally read.
Examples:
• Try a different vacation spot
• Try going to the theater instead of the movies
• Try cooking with a new recipe
• Try reading a book on a new topic
• Try listening to a different radio station or podcast
• Try a different route for your daily walk
• Try learning a new craft, instrument, or language (see number 7)
7. Take a class
Of course, trying something new implies learning something new. This is where real growth happens. As in, new neural pathways in your brain and lots of self-discovery.
Take a class on something you’ve always been curious about.
And although you may want to learn something practical to fix something right away. Like an old desk that needs refinishing. It’s okay to pick something completely frivolous, too. Follow your curiosity.
Consider local workshops but also online courses. Go with whatever is easiest to incorporate into your daily life.
Examples:
• Painting
• Pottery
• Knitting
• Sewing
• Flower arranging
• Woodworking
• Language
• Jewelry-making
• Creative writing
• Art-journaling
• Tai chi
• Photography
• Music
8. Work part-time
If your current job is part-time or if you’re retired, then consider working part-time. Why? Because of everything we’ve covered so far.
A part-time job in something that interests you will keep you physically and socially active. And it will also keep you mentally active by challenging you to try and learn new things.
Is there a cause you’re passionate about? Chances are your community has a non-profit dedicated to it. You can find part-time jobs with organizations as different as your local theater group, science museum, or The Humane Society.
If non-profits aren’t your thing, what about antique shops or thrift stores? Are you an artist or musician? There are groups locally that need part-time help.
And don’t forget about schools, libraries, and health centers. They’d all be glad to hire an experienced part-time employee for all kinds of tasks.
But you don’t have to be an employee, of course. You could be a volunteer instead.
9. Volunteer
Working a part-time job may be too much of a time commitment. So consider volunteering.
Think about the following places that need volunteers to help with events and special programs.
Examples:
• Schools
• Libraries
• Community centers
• Community colleges
• Health centers
• Animal shelters
• Museums
• Theaters
• Hospitals
• Local festivals
• Local art centers
• Makers groups
10. Teach
It may have never occurred to you that you could teach. But chances are you’ve got skills you can teach.
If you know how to do something well, you can teach it.
Think about your skill set. Is there anything you’d enjoy teaching? It could be academic, practical, or artistic.
• Do you speak another language?
• Do you play an instrument?
• Do you make art?
• Are you good at paper crafts?
• Are you good at gardening?
• Are you good at woodworking?
• Are you good at sewing, quilting, knitting, or crocheting?
• Are you good at car repairs, home maintenance, or other mechanical skills?
Next, see if you could join a group or volunteer for an organization where your skills are needed. Go back to the list from number 9.
Conclusion.
You've got lots of choices when it comes to staying young at heart. My tip for you is to take a class. Why? Because it doesn't get much easier than that.
Ideally, you could start with some fun online classes to figure out what lights you up. And then follow up with an evening class at your community college to keep going. And of course, make new friends while you’re there. Smile.
Follow your curiosity:
Tip 1: Try stuff out
Be open and willing to try a variety of things before narrowing them down. What sparks your interest initially might be replaced by something else. Let yourself have fun exploring.
Tip 2: Be bad
If you’re learning something totally new, be willing to be horrible. Not knowing how to do things is part of the process. Let yourself be bad in the beginning and enjoy seeing yourself improve.
Tip 3: Invest in yourself
Be willing to invest your time and resources. Remember you’re boosting your optimism, energy, and enthusiasm. In other words, you’re investing in yourself and increasing your vitality.
Part 2. What strengthens you.
Take note, just because you’re really good at something doesn’t mean it’s energizing you.
As a matter of fact, some of your so-called flaws or imperfections could be boosting your energy.
Here are a few examples:
• You may be great at speaking in front of large crowds. But afterward, you’re so drained that you need two weeks to recharge.
• You may be shy. But your inability to speak up means you’re invested in finding other ways to communicate. Because of that, you keep a journal. And writing has become a practice that totally boosts your energy.
• You may be great at structuring your day. But you end up leaving little room for trying new things. Especially if you feel insecure about your skills. And this kind of inflexible scheduling drains you.
• You may be impatient. But your inability to wait means you’re willing to move forward despite feeling insecure. And because of that, you create momentum which leaves you feeling energized and eager.
So I’d like to introduce a third approach:
Approach #3. Focus on your energy
Your character traits are natural tendencies. The key is to take advantage of those character traits that boost your energy. You can do this regardless if you’ve been thinking about them as flaws up until now.
Because surely, any so-called imperfection that boosts your energy can be channeled in a way to help you thrive.
Part 3. Turning your flaws into assets.
Let’s look at how focusing on your energy gives you insight that you can use.
Can you think of which of your so-called flaws are boosting your energy?
And which of your strengths might be draining you?
Let’s use me as an example. Take a look at this list. These are my so-called weaknesses.
Flaws:
1. Perfectionist
2. Clean freak
3. Overly self-critical
4. Stubborn
5. Shy
6. Obsessive
7. Impatient
Now check out this next list. I’ve teased out the qualities that energize me which are inherent in my so-called weaknesses. And reframed them into assets.
Strengths:
1. Enthusiast
2. Creating calm
3. Showing the way
4. Resilient
5. Expressive
6. Insightful
7. Intuitive
Part 4. On getting better, personality, and identity.
Okay, so we’ve looked at three approaches for how to use the insight you glean from learning about your personality. Namely, you can focus on your weaknesses, your strengths, and/or your energy.
But for any of these approaches to be helpful, you’ve gotta get very clear on two things:
1. You’ve gotta give up the idea that you must fix yourself to be better.
You wanna be open to the idea that you can improve your vitality despite your imperfections.
2. Your personality is not permanent.
Personality tests have the unfortunate consequence of making you think that your personality is fixed. So let’s define personality:
Your personality is your behavior over time.
We tend to confuse what we mean by personality with identity.
Your identity is your internal narrative. It’s how you want to show up for yourself and others. It’s based on your core values. And it drives your behavior.
Your personality is a consequence of your identity.
This means that as your values change, so does your personality.
The mission of personality typing should not be to put you in a box.
Ya see you’ve put yourself unwittingly inside a box built by your coping mechanisms over time. Early on this box protected you.
So the question is, do your coping mechanisms still serve you today?
Part 5. How to channel your so-called flaws to help you thrive.
Let me show you how I’ve expanded on my seven so-called flaws from Part 3. Namely, I’ve teased out the qualities that energize me and explained them below.
My hope is that these examples serve to help you look at your own so-called flaws with fresh eyes.
1. From perfectionist to enthusiast:
Being a perfectionist means having high expectations for yourself. And your expectations are based on what you value most. And although holding yourself to unrealistic expectations is unhelpful, knowing your core values is priceless.
Because knowing what you value most, gives direction to your life. So the trick is to set your intention of who you want to become. So that when you feel yourself advancing, life feels exciting.
In this way, your perfectionism can be channeled into feeling enthusiastic.
2. From clean freak to creating calm:
Being a clean freak and controlling your surroundings is how you attempt to feel safe. And although your sense of control is an illusion, decluttering your physical surroundings has a positive impact on your mental health.
It’s quite difficult to get a grip on what’s cluttering your mind. But being good at decluttering your home makes space for new thoughts, new ideas, and new attitudes. So the trick is to allow for spaciousness.
In this way, being a clean freak can be channeled into calming your mind.
3. From overly self-critical to showing the way:
Being overly self-critical means you’re always judging and comparing. And that leads you to be keenly aware of what’s missing in your life. And although being overly self-critical is exhausting and counter-productive, reflecting on your life’s journey can be motivating.
When you acknowledge the lessons you’ve learned and look forward to keep learning in the future, you’re in a process of growth. Because you can clearly see how you’ve grown, you can also clearly teach others what you wish you would have known back in the day.
In this way, being overly self-critical lets you expand and be an example of what’s possible.
4. From stubborn to resilient:
Being stubborn means you’re inflexible when it comes to changing your mind or trying new things. It can make you obstinate and difficult. But if you’ve got clarity on what you want and your purpose, then being stubborn is your ticket to being resilient.
When you’ve got a clear vision of where you want to go, your stubbornness will keep you on track. And with a little optimism added to the mix, being stubborn will keep you from giving up on yourself.
In this way, your stubbornness can be channeled into being resilient with the added benefit of staying optimistic.
5. From shy to expressive:
Being shy can make you slow or reluctant to speak up. Or unwilling to take part in activities that could benefit you. And although this means you might miss out on opportunities, it also means you may compensate by exploring your creativity.
Because you feel clumsy expressing your voice around others, you may develop your voice via writing, fashion, music, or art-making.
In this way, your shyness can be channeled into exploring and expressing your creativity.
6. From obsessive to insightful:
Being obsessive means you’re in the grip of your thoughts. It can make you preoccupied to the point of living in your head. And this can leave you feeling scattered. So the trick is to let your curiosity drive your obsessions.
When you’re obsessively curious, you’re pursuing all the things that light you up. In other words, you’ll pursue your multiple interests and passions.
You’ll allow yourself to play, explore, and experiment. And as a result, you’ll make connections and get new ideas. And this newfound insight will feed your creativity.
In this way, your obsessiveness can be channeled into being insightful with the added benefit of nurturing your creativity.
7. From impatient to intuitive:
Being impatient can make you restless and anxious. You may find yourself feeling irritated or provoked. Impatience is at the root of scarcity-thinking. You feel driven to get what you want before it’s gone. Because there’s not enough to go around.
Impatience is born out of having a desire. So the trick is to let your impatience push you into taking action before you feel ready. And by taking action you’ll create momentum which carries you forward.
The biggest hurdle to creating positive change is getting past your resistance to start. So if you can let your impatience cause you to be impulsive, you’re one step ahead. You’ll be teaching yourself to trust your intuition with every impulsive decision you make.
In this way, your impatience can be channeled into trusting your intuition.
Conclusion.
There’s one thing all your character traits do regardless if you consider them to be flaws or assets. They either boost or drain your energy.
You can redefine what your strengths are:
Your strengths are those character traits that strengthen you by boosting your energy. And any so-called flaw that boosts your energy can be channeled in a way to help you thrive.
Try this:
• Make a list of what you consider to be your strengths
• Make a list of what you consider to be your flaws
Next, look at both your lists with fresh eyes. Ask yourself:
• Which of my so-called flaws are boosting my energy?
• Which of my strengths might be draining me?
Make a new list of only those character traits that boost your energy. And try teasing out the qualities that energize you (see Part 5).
The trick is to first pay attention to your energy. And then, to use your focus muscle. Namely, focus your thoughts on how good it feels to charge your energy.
In the end, getting better is not about fixing yourself but about energizing yourself.
Because the truth is that you can improve your vitality despite your imperfections. And you can let go of feeling inadequate in the process. Oh, yeah.
Part 2. Your only job is to crack the shell of your resistance.
In Part 1 of this series (Curiosity Did Not Kill The Cat), we look at what it means to express your genius. And we touch on how curiosity helps you thrive (BIG idea number 1).
In Part 2 (Why Your Job Is Just A Fabulous Excuse), we look at how thriving means owning your desires and living your values. And how discipline is remembering what you want (BIG idea number 2).
In a nutshell, you’re here to expand your creativity. And the first step is to own your desires and pursue your curiosity. That’s how you go about expressing your genius in your own unique way. And in the end, it doesn’t even matter what you do, because you’re not actually doing it. You’re letting it happen. You’re letting your genius flow through you.
Today, let’s explore BIG idea number 3. Your only job is to crack the shell of your resistance. To get started, let’s define resistance:
Resistance is not allowing yourself to receive your good.
Resistance feels like being stuck. And since feeling stuck shows up in a million different ways, it’s easier to say what resistance is not. Namely, resistance is not being in flow, feeling satisfied, or embracing ease.
Resistance can show up as wanting to prove your worthiness because you don’t feel good enough. Or wanting to fix something about yourself because you feel broken. Or wanting to earn approval because you don’t trust yourself. Or simply feeling like you’re always yearning for something that’s missing.
And so, this is our being human conundrum.
Ultimately what we all desire is to feel good. And at the same time, we’re dealing with our own resistance to feeling worthy enough to have what we desire. Eeeek.
For example, when you use the excuse that you’re not artistic enough to paint, that’s just your resistance rearing its ugly head and keeping you small.
Because the truth is that your creative genius is already inside of you waiting to flow out. Your only job is to crack the shell of your resistance.
Part 3. How to woo your creativity.
So what’s the solution to our being human conundrum? The solution is to forgive yourself.
Yep, you’ve gotta forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Only then can you feel self-compassion.
Only then can you accept yourself just as you are.
And only then will you crack the shell of your resistance.
Everyone has an inkling, a glimmer, of who they really are deep down inside. It’s the way you feel about yourself when you’re doing something that feels so right that you know you were born to do it right now, just the way you are.
You’d think we’d hold on to it for dear life. But no. It’s so surprisingly easy to forget. Which is truly insane. The one thing that makes us wanna open ourselves up and live out loud, well, it’s the very same thing that we forget lickety-split in the day-to-day survival of our ordinary lives.
And ya know what? That glimmer of purpose happens when you’re expressing your creativity.
Yep. That’s why nurturing your creativity sparks your enthusiasm for life.
“You will never be genuinely happy unless you dedicate your body, mind, and soul to a lifelong courtship of your true creativity.”
- Gay Hendricks
You woo your creativity by appreciating it. By giving it the time, space, and energy it needs to thrive.
Like this:
1. Carving Out Time
Give yourself the gift of time. It doesn’t need to be a whole morning. It can be 20 minutes free of distractions. This means no phone and no internet. The quality of your creative play time is way more important than the quantity.
Once you experience for yourself how crucial this little bit of time is for your well-being, there's no turning back. Smile.
“Creativity thrives in an atmosphere of lavish appreciation. The more I appreciate my creativity, the more creative I get.”
- Gay Hendricks
2. Creating The Right Space
Give yourself a dedicated spot in your home where you can work on your projects undisturbed. You want this time to be free of distractions. So keep your phone on airplane mode or leave it in another room.
• Make it easy. Keep your art supplies in a box or drawer close at hand.
Take note, the right space for you may be a quiet room in your home, a cozy coffee shop, or a peaceful park bench. So you may want to keep all your supplies in a kit that sits by the front door always at the ready.
• Make it fancy. Create your dedicated spot as luxurious as possible so that you look forward to spending time there. Think music, flowers, fragrances, noise-cancellation headphones, snacks, tea, smoothies, etc. And make your space inspiring, too. Think photos, art, objects, mementos, etc.
3. Maintaining Consistency
Maintain a routine that you can stick to. Set aside a specific time each day or week to work on your creative projects.
• Make it a break. It doesn’t need to be a big chunk of time. If all you’ve got is 10 minutes, then spend it getting your art supplies ready. Or putting together an inspiration file of beautiful images.
• Make it a practice. The regularity of showing up for yourself creates its own momentum that helps you keep going. And remember it’s not about finishing anything. It’s only about creating the habit of nurturing your genius.
4. Cultivating Curiosity
By maintaining consistency, you'll be cultivating your curiosity. And when you cultivate your curiosity, you practice mindfulness.
Your curiosity helps you be present and open to possibilities. And it helps you foster what’s called beginner’s mind. In other words, by being curious you develop a sense of wonder. Like when you feel you’re doing something for the first time. And this sense of wonder is the key to unlocking your imagination and unleashing your creative genius.
“The essence of true creativity is genuine wonder. Wonder is when your mind is roaming freely, unshackled from criticism, with total permission to explore as it pleases.”
- Gay Hendricks
5. Giving Yourself Permission to Play
Allow yourself to explore and experiment without any predetermined expectations. Remember you’ve got nothing to prove. You’re being creative just for the fun of it.
• Play is productive. Play allows your mind to wander freely and make connections. By stepping away to play, you’re open to unexpected insights and solutions to problems you may have been stuck on.
• Play is valuable. Your life is a collection of experiences and memories. And you create some of your most valued memories by spending your free time being frivolous. As in, giving your full attention to a loved one in a state of play.
To bring more creativity into your life, you don’t need to become a more creative person. You only need to give yourself permission to play.
Creative play is a means to express yourself for the sheer pleasure of being alive.
The counter-intuitive part about being more creative is that you’re already creative. You’ve simply got a lot of resistance to expressing your creativity. It’s actually less work to drop your resistance than to keep resisting.
Read more about why curiosity is good for you in Part 1 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/curiosity-did-not-kill-the-cat
Read more about what it means to thrive in Part 2 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/why-your-job-is-just-a-fabulous-excuse
How: Mix and match your tops and bottoms
Look in your closet and see if you can’t combine a top with a bottom that you wouldn’t normally wear together. It’s time to try some new combinations.
Examples:
• Wear sneakers with a fancy skirt or dress
• Wear fun socks with sandals
• Wear a sleeveless top with arm warmers
• Wear a fancy blouse with cargo pants
And mix high and low fashion for extra points. Like combining a basic sundress with a designer scarf. Check out the BONUS TIP at the end for how to get your hands on some luxury items.
How: Dress in layers
You can wear your favorite summer tops and dresses during colder weather. No lie. The trick is to dress in layers by keeping your basics at the ready.
To make your life easier, keep these season-extending basics together and in sight:
• Long-sleeve tees
• Turtlenecks
• Leggings
Examples:
• Wear that strappy slip dress or top over a turtleneck
• Wear a short-sleeve blouse over a long-sleeve tee
• Wear a short-sleeve mini dress over a long-sleeve tee and leggings
• Wear a short-sleeve dress with colored tights
And add sneakers to the mix for extra points. Layering your summer pieces dresses them down. So your casual footwear makes your outfit all the more practical.
How: Organize your clothes in new places
When you feel stuck in a rut, it’s time to play. Namely, you can play boggle with your wardrobe. The trick is to rearrange your clothes in new places.
This closet hack alone will give you fresh eyes for creating your outfits. So put things in different places for a new perspective.
Examples:
• Hang outfits together
Go ahead and keep your combos together on hangers in your closet. In other words, hang the main pieces of your outfits side-by-side. And if you like wearing scarves, add them on.
• Keep your basics at the ready and in sight on a shelf
Keep your tees, long-sleeve tees, and turtlenecks folded and within reach. You can use baskets for items that aren’t easy to fold like leggings, colored tights, and socks.
• Keep your accessories in clear plastic containers
For example, you can have separate boxes for your scarves, necklaces, and sunglasses. Whatever your favorite accessories might be, keeping them where you can see them will remind you to wear them.
How: Combine that blazer with a shirt and sporty pants
Your blazers make it so easy to try out new styles. Whether you like your blazers oversize or fitted, you can pair them with sporty pants instead of slacks.
Examples:
• Wear your blazer with an untucked shirt, a vest, and glorified athletic pants
• Wear your blazer with a tucked-in floral print shirt and cargo pants
• Wear your blazer with a tucked-in shirt, tie, and long shorts
And play with rolling up your blazer sleeves for extra points. Because with your blazer sleeves pushed up, you can let your shirtsleeves hang out. And that’s super cool.
How: Switch that neutral/black to color
Look at your favorite everyday outfits. Chances are you’re combining your neutral basics with your classic tops. Like this:
• Khakis with white tees
• Dark blue slacks with pastel-colored shirts
• Black linen trousers with sleeveless blouses
Color is a great way to bring fun and personality to your outfits. So consider switching out one of your neutral basics for a similar item in a bright color.
Examples:
• Wear your white tees with sporty cargo pants in lime green
• Wear your pastel-colored shirts with red slacks
• Wear your sleeveless blouses with yellow linen trousers
Try it out. You may find that it’s easier than you think to include colorful basics alongside your trusted neutrals in your wardrobe.
How: Play around with accessories
Simple accessories are the key to making your wardrobe versatile. The same outfit worn with a casual scarf or with statement jewelry will give off a different vibe. The same goes for a dress worn with heels or sneakers.
Your accessories include:
• Scarves
• Headbands
• Hats
• Gloves
• Arm warmers
• Sunglasses
• Jewelry (rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets)
• Bags, purses
• Tights, socks
• Shoes
Of all the accessories listed above, scarves are the easiest when it comes to styling your outfits.
For one thing, scarves are lighter than fashion necklaces which can be clunky. They’re also easy to find in a multitude of colors, textures, and weights. And their versatility makes them easy to wear.
To make your life easier, keep your accessories together and in sight. See number 3 above.
(For a great refresher on basic scarf types, check out The Ultimate Scarf Guide. It’s groovy. And if ya wanna know why you can’t live without a large square scarf, check out Your Guide To The Perfect Scarf For All Your Style Needs. You’re gonna love it, too.)
How: Do a simple closet inventory
Try doing a simple closet inventory of the clothes and accessories you own.
Your goal:
To have the bulk of your closet be those items you enjoy wearing. And to get rid of any items that no longer fit you or work with your current lifestyle..
A great foundation makes mixing and matching so much easier. And making space in your closet makes getting dressed way more fun.
Take note, while doing your closet inventory, you can have fun experimenting with new outfit ideas.
Like this:
• Pick a night to go through your closet
• Get out a full-length mirror, some tea or wine, your favorite music, etc.
• Have fun playing dress-up
Next up:
Try this simple closet inventory. I call it the 5-heaps and 3-piles method of finding your best clothes.
Step 1. Make 5 heaps
Take your clothes out of your closet and pile them into one of 5 heaps. Be ruthless. You may love a dress but if you never wear it then it’s gotta go in Heap 3 and NOT in Heap 2.
Heap 1 = The clothes you wear all the time because they fit well
Heap 2 = The clothes you love wearing because they feel right
Heap 3 = The clothes you never wear because they don’t fit, make you itch, or simply don’t feel like YOU
Heap 4 = The clothes you seldom wear because they’re only for weddings or fancy cocktail parties
Heap 5 = Any items from Heaps 1-4 that are tired and old because they’re worn out, stained, or falling apart
Step 2. Make 3 piles
Now organize your 5 heaps into 3 piles. You’ll end up with a YES pile, a NO pile, and a SPECIAL OCCASION pile.
YES pile = Combine Heaps 1 and 2
These clothes make the foundation of your wardrobe. They fit your body and your lifestyle. Consider buying similar items in different colors to add to your closet.
Do not include clothes you wear all the time that are worn out, stained, or falling apart. These go into your NO pile.
NO pile = Combine Heaps 3 and 5
These are the items that need to be given away, sold, recycled, or trashed. You may have a few items you love in here because they’re vintage or designer pieces. But if you don’t wear them, don’t let them clutter your closet.
Check out the BONUS TIP below for a fun idea of what you can do with these pieces.
SPECIAL OCCASION pile = Heap 4
These items are keepers only if they really truly still fit your body and your lifestyle. Since you may only wear them once a year, don’t let them take up precious space in your main closet. Put them in hanging bags and keep them elsewhere like under your bed or in the garage.
p.s.
If going through your closet feels overwhelming, break it down into easier steps.
For example, you can do your hanging clothes one day and folded clothes another. And you can do your jackets and coats on a later day, too. The same goes for your shoes and accessories. Little by little, you'll get it done.
How: Have a fashion swap party
I’ve added this bonus tip because I think it’s a brilliant way to swap some of your beloved pieces that don’t work for you anymore (they’re in your NO pile).
It’s also a fun way to get your hands on some luxury items. Assuming your friends and family have good taste. Smile.
How to hold a fashion swap party:
• Make it a cookies and tea-time party
• Invite family and friends to come with clothes they’ve fallen out of love with
• Set a clothes rack or large boxes and bins in your garage or living room
• Set up a full-length mirror for trying on accessories
• Use a bedroom as a dressing room for trying on clothes
Part 2. You’re in the process of making a beautiful life.
In Part 1 of this series (Curiosity Did Not Kill The Cat), we look at what it means to express your genius. And we touch on how curiosity helps you thrive (BIG idea number 1).
In a nutshell, you’re here to expand your creativity. The first step is to own your desires. And when you pursue your curiosity you’re well on your way to sharing your gifts with the world.
Today, let’s explore BIG idea number 2. You’re in the process of making a beautiful life.
Your process of making a beautiful life is your personal journey of transformation. It’s your becoming. And as you become more and more yourself, you thrive. So let’s define thriving:
Thriving is owning your desires and living your values.
Having said that, let’s define desires and values:
Your desires are your gifts to receive and give.
Your desires are your gifts to receive because they guide you to become who you want to be. And your desires are also your gifts to give. Because you give yourself away in the process of becoming who you want to be.
Your values are how you want to show up for yourself and for others.
Living your values is about prioritizing your vitality so you can show up and do the things that matter most.
The funny thing about values is that you can’t hide them. Your behavior is always a reflection of your values no matter what you might say.
And this is one of the biggest reasons it’s so damn hard to change your habits. Because unless you truly value and identify with the reasons behind the changes you want to make, your new habits simply won’t stick.
Oh, at first you might be convinced you can willpower your way to making lasting change. But at some point, your willpower will burn out. Because you’re using your discipline in the wrong way.
We think discipline is about forcing ourselves to do things we think we should be doing to get what we want. But it’s actually a whole lot simpler than that:
Discipline is remembering what you want so you can thrive.
What you want, what you desire, is based on who you want to become. In comparison, what you think you should be doing to get what you want is based on how you value difficulty as a measure of your worthiness.
You believe you need to bust your butt and prove yourself to be worthy of what you want. Without realizing it, you’re valuing difficulty as a measure of your deservedness. All the while, completely ignoring the fact that you’re already worthy.
And because your narrative of feeling unworthy is deep-rooted and well-practiced, remembering what you truly want for yourself is damn hard work.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? It’s way easier to struggle and argue for your limitations than it is to trust in yourself and own your desires.
Discipline is for focusing your attention.
Your objective is always to focus your attention on who you want to become in the process of getting what you want.
And since ultimately what we all desire is to feel good, you need to ask yourself:
Who do I need to become to feel good?
“People say we’re all seeking a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I believe we’re seeking an experience of being alive.”
- Joseph Campbell
Part 3. Why your job is just a fabulous excuse.
Okay, so when we're doing what we most love to do, we're expressing our genius. We could all be doing the same thing, but every one of us would express our genius in a unique way.
In the end, it doesn’t even matter what you do. No lie.
The only thing that matters is how you show up.
And here comes the fun part. The reason it doesn’t matter what you do is because you’re not actually doing it. You’re letting it happen.
Your fun, your joy, your love for life, is your becoming.
It’s a process where you’re the creator and the ultimate project is not your career but YOU. As in, you’re the creator and the creation. So that:
• There is no job that’s wrong for you to be doing
• There is no career move that’s got you going down the wrong path.
• There is no missed opportunity that’s holding you back.Ya see, your creative genius is already inside of you waiting to flow out. Your only job is to crack the shell of your resistance.
Read more about how you can woo your creativity in Part 3 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/how-to-woo-your-creativity
Read more about why curiosity is good for you in Part 1 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/curiosity-did-not-kill-the-cat
Part 2. You’re here to expand your creativity.
Let’s explore BIG idea number 1. You’re here to expand your creativity. First off, let’s define creativity:
Your creativity is your genius.
When you’re expressing your genius you’re simply sharing your enthusiasm for life.
“When we are creative we express the joy of being alive.”
- Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
And your joy of being alive is directly linked to your desires. So next, let’s define desires:
Your desires are your gifts.
Any big desire welling up inside of you is a gift for you to receive. Why? Because it will always lead you to become who you want to be.
In other words, to become who you want to be, you’ve gotta own your desires.
No matter how big and impossible they may feel. No matter what anyone else may think about them. They’re yours. And the sooner you own them, the happier you’ll be.
And not only are your desires gifts for you to receive, but they’re also your gifts to give. Yep, by owning your desires you get to share them with the world. Yay!
• Your desires = your gifts to receive:
They guide you to become who you want to be.
• Your desires = your gifts to give:
You give yourself away in the process of becoming who you want to be.
To summarize, you’re here to expand your creativity. As in, to express your genius. And the first step is to own your desires.
Now when you think of desires, you might immediately think of passions. We hear a lot about why we should all be pursuing our passions.
But I think this idea is creating more havoc than good. I have people in my life that beat themselves up because they don’t know what their passion is supposed to be.
The best thing you can do when you feel this way is to forget about passion. And think about curiosity instead.
Curiosity is a remarkable thing. Because when you pursue your curiosity, you always end up doing wonderful things for the rest of us. Smile.
Part 3. Why curiosity did not kill the cat.
I'm sure you've heard the expression curiosity killed the cat a million times. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself why we use it?
Mostly it's used as a warning. As in, don't go meddling or poking your nose where you're not welcome. Being too curious can get you in a heap of trouble.
Well, it’s a lie.
I’m sure you’ve heard all about the benefits of mindfulness. Right? It’s a very very very good thing. Namely, mindfulness is all about being present.
And maybe you’ve also heard about beginner’s mind. It’s a way of being open to what’s possible in the moment instead of reacting based on our habitual thinking.
And it’s also about the sense of wonder we feel when doing stuff for the first time. In other words, it’s a very very very good thing.
“The richness of present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we 'know' prevent us from seeing things as they really are. We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extra-ordinariness of the ordinary. To see the richness of the present moment, we need to cultivate what has been called beginner’s mind, a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.”
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Curiosity is a good thing. Curiosity did not kill the cat. Nope, curiosity helps you be present and open to possibilities. And ya know what else?
Curiosity helps you thrive.
Because by cultivating your curiosity you nurture your creativity. In other words, you spark your enthusiasm for life. Yay!
And did ya know that to bring more creativity into your life, you don’t need to become a more creative person?
Nope, you only need to give yourself permission to play. Creative play is a means to express yourself for the sheer pleasure of being alive.
Ya see, your creative genius is already inside of you waiting to flow out. Your only job is to crack the shell of your resistance.
Read more about what it means to thrive in Part 2 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/why-your-job-is-just-a-fabulous-excuse
Read more about how you can woo your creativity in Part 3 here:
https://twinkiwinki.com/blogs/twinki-winki-headquarters/how-to-woo-your-creativity
Part 1. What is decluttering.
The hustle and bustle of everyday life can leave you feeling frazzled, overwhelmed, and stuck in a rut. There seems to be no end to our physical clutter (like unwanted clothes and knick-knacks) and our digital clutter (like notifications and emails). All this stuff can make you feel like the walls are closing in.
And here’s why decluttering is so important. Because by taking the time to reduce your physical and mental clutter, you get more time, space, calm, and energy back in your life.
Before we continue down the decluttering rabbit hole, let’s first define what we actually mean by clutter.
Part 2. What we mean by clutter.
Your definition of clutter will be different from mine. Everyone’s got their own comfort level when it comes to their stuff, don’t ya know.
When holding on to your clutter makes you feel stuck, that’s when you know you have a problem. (We’ll cover that some more in Part 4.)
• Physical and digital clutter
Physical clutter is easy to understand. This is the kind of mess or chaos you can see.
It's the piles of clothing, papers, dishes, and whatever you’ve got strewn around your home. It's the overabundance of things you've been holding on to for years.
But clutter can also be digital. It’s the many tabs you keep open in your computer browser or the buttload of media you consume daily. It’s all the distracting notifications and emails that keep you chained to your phone. These things can be seen. And they consume large amounts of your resources such as time, space, and money.
• Mental Clutter
Mental clutter isn't as simple to define. This is the kind of chaos that involves information overload along with nagging emotional issues that overwhelm your mind.
It’s the endless social scrolling and news watching. It’s the internal congestion of things such as your never-ending to-do list, worries, negative internal dialogue, guilt, old grudges, or habits that don't serve you. These things can’t always be seen. But they nonetheless consume large amounts of your time, space, and money.
Part 3. Decluttering frees up energy that you can use for creativity.
Now that we have an idea of what we mean by clutter, let’s go over the benefits of decluttering.
To start with, decluttering is an intentional process of letting go in order to have more energy.
Think of your energy as your capacity to feel good, your source for creativity, and your wealth. It’s your vitality which means it’s priceless.
That’s why holding on to your physical and mental clutter is keeping you stuck. It’s making you feel frustrated because you’ve never got the time, space, calm, or energy to do the things that truly matter. As in, all the things that make you happy.
Your vitality depends on you giving yourself the space to pursue the things that light you up.
And to do that you’re gonna have to make room in your life. By letting go of the stuff that drains you, you get more energy to feel good.
• More energy to be happy
Think of your energy as the juice for your feel-good battery. Your energy is your capacity to feel good, your source for creativity, and your wealth. It’s your vitality which means it’s priceless.
Physical clutter and digital distractions are energy leaks.
Now think of your stuff as items that serve you energetically. So this means your stuff is either charging your feel-good battery or draining it.
• More time to be happy
Decluttering your house will make you gain precious time daily. Imagine what it would feel like if you had an extra hour a day to go to the gym or spend time with your kids. Imagine if you didn’t have to spend your entire Saturday on house chores. And imagine messing around with your favorite hobby instead.
Anything that drains your time is automatically draining your energy.
If energy is the juice for your feel-good battery, then managing your time is the key to having more energy.
In a cluttered environment, it’s hard to find your keys, the matching sock, your glasses, and more. But in a decluttered home you'll spend less time looking for things you've misplaced.
• More space to be happy
Imagine having more room to move around freely at home. And imagine how calming that would make you feel. Ya see open spaces are calming for your brain. In this way, decluttering not only frees up space in your home but also in your mind. Mental space you can use for things that truly matter to you.
Once the weight of excess stuff is lifted from you, you’ll feel lighter.
Clutter brings you down. However, having more space and less clutter lifts you up. And you’ll gain an increased sense of spaciousness in your life.
• More calm to be happy
Having less physical clutter means less mental confusion. And the sense of calm you gain from decluttering spreads to all areas of your life.
Anything that makes you feel calmer is automatically charging your energy.
Physical clutter and digital distractions zap your energy. But when your stuff no longer feels overwhelming, you’ll feel calmer and focus better.
Having less stuff also means you can start appreciating your lovely possessions. The ones you’ve decided to keep because they bring you joy. And you can give them the care they deserve.
Part 4. How to know when you have a clutter problem.
As I mentioned in Part 2, your stuff only becomes clutter when it starts to stress you out.
Let’s face it, we’ve all got never-ending housekeeping chores. There’s no end to doing the dishes, laundry, filing, and cleaning. There’s also no end to opening mail, paying bills, answering emails, and making appointments.
The truth is that we usually manage to keep up with our housekeeping without freaking out.
However, if you’ve got stuff around you that’s driving you crazy, holding you back, keeping you stuck, or making you feel depressed, then it’s fair to say you’ve got a clutter problem.
You may have a clutter problem if:
• Your stuff makes you feel overwhelmed, agitated, helpless, hopeless, tired, closed in, or annoyed
• You feel drained because you've got a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirling around in your head
• Being surrounded by clutter makes it difficult for you to relax and unwind
• You feel easily distracted by your phone and unable to focus, concentrate, or remember things
• You feel overwhelmed by your to-do list and unable to prioritize tasks and manage your time
Part 5. Why we keep stuff that’s making us feel bad.
Identify your physical clutter. Chances are it’s not enough to keep up with your housekeeping and purge your stuff once a year.
The process of decluttering your physical surroundings creates more calm and space. And then you’ll be in a better place to identify your mental clutter too.
What’s the underlying problem here?
The problem is avoidance.
We keep stuff for emotional reasons. Usually, we don’t want to face the truth about something. Or we’re trying to fill a void or emptiness we feel. Let’s look at a few examples.
Why we hold on to stuff and create clutter for ourselves:
• We yearn for the better life we used to have or might have “one day”
Like when we save clothes that used to fit us from the life we used to have, from the way we were before. As in, we ignore the fact that our lifestyle has changed.
Or when we save clothes because we think someday they’ll fit again. In other words, we totally ignore the fact that our bodies have changed.
• We don’t want to face the consequences of some hard conversations to be had
Like when we avoid dealing with the belongings of a deceased parent because we don’t want to argue with our siblings. So we keep it all in boxes or suitcases in the garage.
• We don’t want to face the memories that make us sad
Like when we keep boxes of photos and letters that we’ll never look at again. We avoid organizing or throwing out any of it because we don’t wanna feel sad.
• We don’t want to face the feelings that we’re trying to hide
Like when we avoid getting rid of tools, machines, and appliances that are still sitting unused in their boxes. Because this would mean owning up to the fact that we buy stuff to make us feel less lonely. This goes for unused clothes and shoes, too.
Part 6. Letting go.
Not everything can be in your life forever. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your time or money.
Letting go is part of a process of honoring yourself:
• You can honor the life you once had
• You can honor the choices you’ve made in the past
• You can honor your personal growth
When you honor yourself, you can recognize that it’s time to let go of the things in your life that no longer serve you.
"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."
- William Morris
The solution is letting go.
We think by holding on we’re making our lives better somehow. The irony is that holding on is only taking up precious space in our lives. It’s keeping us stuck. It’s not how we go about creating the future we want.
Only by letting go are you making your life better. Only by charging your feel-good battery are you increasing your vitality. And only by accepting your current circumstances can you change them.
“If holding on is holding you back, it’s time to let go.”
- Mel Robbins
Holding on to worries, relationships, friendships, projects, living situations, work, clothes, habits, guilt, judgment, and old thinking patterns is draining the life right out of you. Your vitality depends on you giving yourself permission to let go. And trusting your intuition is how you do it.
Your goal is to declutter and as a result, give yourself more energy to feel good.
By trusting your intuition you’ll know what to let go of. Use your energy as a barometer. If it gives you energy, keep it. If it drains you, get rid of it.
Part 7. How to declutter.
Reminding yourself of why you’re decluttering is a powerful way to ensure your success in the process.
Set your intention for how you want to feel.
When you’re decluttering, your goal is not to set a housecleaning record, break your back, or wear yourself out. Nope. Your goal is to free up time and energy so you can do the things that truly matter to you.
So make sure to ask yourself:
• What do I value most in my life?
• What do I want to spend my precious time and energy doing?
• What are my top three reasons for decluttering?
The trick to decluttering is to do it consistently for short periods every week.
Decluttering will only be sustainable if you keep it simple. What you need is a 4-step decluttering game plan and it goes like this:
Step 1. Start small
Step 2. Create a sorting system
Step 3. Use the joy rule
Step 4. Purge regularly
Keep reading for more details.
Part 8. Where to start decluttering.
You’ve gotta start with the physical clutter. It’s the easiest place to start because you’ll make immediate improvements and gain instant energy boosts.
Remember that your mental clutter is the kind of chaos that involves information overload. Along with nagging emotional issues. So the first step in sifting through your mental clutter is to be aware of it.
As you declutter your physical surroundings, you’ll create more calm and space around you. And then you’ll be in a better place to identify your mental clutter.
Okay. Let’s do this.
Step 1. Start small
The best way to go about decluttering is to do it consistently for short periods. Pick one declutter task from the list below in Step 4.
Choose a small area of your home to start. Maybe you choose your bedroom, for example. Select one thing from the bedroom list and simply start there.
Set a timer for 15 minutes and grab an empty box or garbage bag.
Here are a few examples of how to start small:
• Clear out one drawer in your dresser, kitchen, bathroom, or desk
• Throw out old food in your fridge or freezer
• Clean out your wallet, handbag, or backpack
• Clear the clutter or mail off of your kitchen counter or desktop
Step 2. Create a sorting system
Before you begin, label your boxes or bags with the categories KEEP, DONATE, and DISCARD.
Make sure to keep a running list of items you need to replace. For example, you’ll probably be getting rid of kitchen appliances that are too old or broken to fix. The same goes for tools, cables, and electronics that no longer work.
Keep in mind that after decluttering, you can organize your stuff in new places.
For example, you can take advantage of high spaces on top of closets and low spaces under beds for storing your stuff. If you’ve got high ceilings, you can hang a long narrow shelf in your hallway above your head.
So grab your measuring tape and jot down how much room you’ve got to work with in any of your new storage places. This will help you buy the right size storage boxes and bins when the time comes.
Step 3. Use the joy rule
To decide what to keep you can use Marie Kondo’s excellent advice:
Ask yourself whether the thing in question brings you joy. If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, then it’s time to let it go.
As I mentioned in Part 6, use your energy as a barometer. In other words, if it gives you energy, keep it. If it drains you, get rid of it.
Take note that you can also use the joy rule to help you say no to impulse buys. In other words, before you buy, ask yourself if what you wanna buy will bring you real joy.
And when it comes to buying fashion, I’ve got a great list of questions to help you be a smart consumer and not get sucked into buying sale items.
Ten questions to ask yourself before you make a purchase:
1. Does this fit me? Is it my size?
2. Will this work with my existing wardrobe?
3. Is this practical and easy to take care of?
4. Is it well made? What do I know about the details?
5. Is it made from a material I’m sensitive to? Is the weight pleasing to me?
6. Does the color flatter my face? Does it boost my mood?
7. Does the shape flatter my body? Does it feel like me?
8. Does this breathe new life into what I’ve already got in my closet?
9. Does owning and wearing this make me feel good?
10. Is this an investment in myself?
Step 4. Purge regularly
Little by little you’ll start making space and your momentum will keep you moving forward. Make it a weekly habit to declutter some small areas.
It’s helpful to keep in mind that not all decluttering tasks are equal. Some you can get done in 15 minutes and some might take you a month or longer.
And finally, you may prefer to get some easier tasks out of the way first. Like any clutter that’s driving you crazy. It could be that desk drawer full of crap where you can never find a decent pen. Or that kitchen cabinet full of unusable Tupperware with missing lids. Smile.
Well, we’ve pretty much made it to the end of this guide. The only thing left is...
Choose an area of your home to start decluttering. Then select one task on the list and simply start there. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes. Grab an empty box or garbage bag and do what you can. Repeat until you can move on to another decluttering task.
Declutter your closet:
• Turn worn-out or damaged clothing into rags
• Get rid of clothes that don’t fit
• Get rid of worn-out underwear
• Get rid of worn-out socks
• Get rid of worn-out pajamas
• Get rid of worn-out swimwear
• Get rid of shoes that hurt your feet
• Get rid of scarves and hats you’ll never wear again
• Get rid of old wallets, bags, and purses
• Get rid of old tote bags and backpacks
Declutter your bedroom:
• Turn any worn-out sheets into rags
• If you have damaged blankets, keep them in the garage for other uses
• Get rid of old or uncomfortable pillows
• Get rid of broken jewelry
Declutter your books/paperwork:
• Get rid of books and magazines you won’t read anymore
• Keep important personal papers and IDs in a file
• Keep important paperwork in a file box
• Recycle old documents no longer valid
• Recycle manuals for products you no longer have
• Recycle old calendars, diaries, and journals you no longer want
• Recycle old phone books
• Recycle old take-out menus
• Recycle correspondence you’ll never look at again
Declutter your desk:
• Clear the clutter and/or mail sitting on your desk
• Clean out a desk drawer
• Throw out pens that don’t write
• Get rid of eyeglasses you no longer use
• Get rid of cameras you no longer use
• Get rid of electronic devices you no longer use
• Throw out broken electronic devices
• Throw out used batteries
Declutter your kitchen:
• Clean out a kitchen drawer
• Get rid of containers with missing lids
• Get rid of extra shopping bags
• Get rid of unused kitchen gadgets
• Recycle excess plastic containers
• Recycle unusable plastic containers/Tupperware
• Throw out broken kitchen gadgets
• Throw out old food in your fridge and freezer
• Throw out leaky water bottles
• Recycle old plastic bottles
• Recycle chipped glasses and mugs
• Throw out worn-out scrubbers and sponges
• Throw out expired medicine and supplements
• Throw out cleaning products you no longer use
Declutter your bathroom:
• Turn worn-out towels into rags
• Keep only the products you’re using on hand, store the rest in a cabinet
• If you have travel-size toiletries, keep them in a small bag with your luggage
• Get rid of old combs, brushes, hair bands, and hair tools
• Get rid of old perfumes you’ll never use again
• Throw out expired makeup and creams
• Throw out expired sunblock
Declutter your living room:
• Get rid of old CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes
• Get rid of puzzles and board games with missing pieces
• Get rid of old remote controls
Declutter your garage:
• Get rid of old luggage you no longer use
• Get rid of electronic cables for gadgets you no longer have
• Get rid of old toys
• Get rid of unused exercise equipment
• Get rid of unused sports equipment
• Get rid of unused holiday decor
• Get rid of repair parts for stuff you no longer own
• Throw out damaged luggage
• Throw out expired paints
• Throw out expired yard products
• Throw out damaged craft supplies
• Throw out rusted tools
• Recycle boxes from old purchases
notes:
Getting rid of something does not necessarily mean throwing it into the garbage. You can recycle it. Or give it away. You can take it to a thrift store. And in some cases, you can sell it online.
And check with your local area about how to throw out chemical products like old paints, cleaning products, and medicines. Because these items along with batteries and electronic devices may have special collection places where you can drop them off.
Conclusion.
Your vitality depends on you giving yourself the space to pursue the things that light you up. And to do that you’re gonna have to make room in your life.
By decluttering you create more time, space, calm, and energy for yourself.
When it comes to clutter, the problem is avoidance. And the solution is letting go. Only by letting go are you making your life better. Only by charging your feel-good battery are you increasing your vitality. And only by accepting your current circumstances can you change them.
Reminding yourself of why you’re decluttering is a powerful way to ensure your success in the process. And the best way to go about decluttering is to do it consistently for short periods.
To begin, use the list provided in this guide. Choose an area of your home to start decluttering. Then select one task on the list and simply start there. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes. Grab an empty box or garbage bag and do what you can. Repeat until you can move on to another decluttering task.
Part 1. Getting your creative juices flowing
What is collage? How does it work?
Collage is a type of art and an artistic technique that's been around for ages. Collage-making is an excellent type of creative play, regardless of whether you intend to create a finished artwork or just mess around. You can include collages as part of your personal creativity practice, along with self-care.
Collage-making is a right-brain activity for using your intuition to tap into your unconscious mind. It’s a back-and-forth process of right-brain input and left-brain insight.
In other words, it’s a way to give your analytical side a break and let your intuitive side drive the bus.
Collage is all about creative play.
What you use to make your collage is up to you. Pretty much any kind of paper can be used as collage fodder: magazine images, photos, words, texts, origami papers, journal pages, doodles, scraps, tickets, notes, tissue paper, sewing patterns, maps, etc.
Every collage begins with your collage fodder. Some people make their own papers. Others collect images and keep them in folders. And some people may have a whole drawer full of scraps they’re saving.
The fun begins when you pull out your collage fodder and start composing a new collage. The creative process of arranging your favorite bits and gluing them down feels easy and free. And it’s precisely this intuitive process that unlocks a flood of new ideas and perspectives.
What’s the best part about collage?
Okay, so the worst thing that can happen when you’re making a collage is that you don’t like what you made. And it’s also the best thing that can happen. Seriously.
If you don’t like what you’ve made, you’ve now got an opportunity to start a new collage. No sweat. Cut it up and use it as fodder to begin a new collage. And thanks to all the momentum you’ve already got going, it’ll take surprisingly little effort to finish your new collage.
The best part about collage is that you simply can’t fail if you’re open to trying new things.
Part 2. Getting past your resistance
The biggest challenge we face when beginning any project is our resistance. Just think of how overwhelming it can feel to stare at a blank page or white canvas.
The beauty of collage-making is that it feels very playful. It’s much easier to jump in and create momentum.
You’d be surprised to know how many artists begin paintings with a collage, only to leave no trace of it. And collage can be used as a creative warm-up activity for writing or problem-solving.
Take note, you’re never resistant to the work itself. Nope.
Your resistance shows up in your thinking about the work. You get caught in a loop of spiraling thoughts about not having enough time, not knowing how to start, not feeling inspired, etc.
Because when you think about the actual work you feel excited.
You feel excited about using new materials you can’t wait to play with. You feel excited about finishing wherever you left off last time. You feel excited about trying a new technique.
Your resistance is the only thing between you and getting your butt into flow. And if you’re not sure about what flow is:
Flow is energized focus, effortless expression, and total immersion in what you’re doing.
The problem is we think we can push our way through. Here’s a counter-intuitive truth about resistance:
Working harder only keeps you stuck.
To get past your resistance, you’ve gotta allow for ease. Getting unstuck is about letting yourself play, trusting your intuition, and letting your unconscious mind come up with answers.
Part 3. Gaining clarity
We’ve covered that collage is a back-and-forth process of right-brain input and left-brain insight. Here’s more detail about how this process plays out.
• Right-brain input: Spontaneity, randomness, and play
When using your unconscious intuitive thinking, you’re actively doing something that keeps your attention in the present moment. You’re making space for insights to bubble up from your unconscious mind.
It might look like creating your own collage fodder. The simple repetitive actions of making marks, scribbling, and doodling can even feel soothing like meditation.
• Left-brain insight: Purposefulness and meaning
When using your conscious linear thinking, you’re giving meaning and direction to what you were doing intuitively beforehand. You’re finding connections between ideas.
It might look like adding words and quotes sparked by the imagery you’ve intuitively glued down.
Part 4. Learning creativity theory
What is creativity theory?
Collage-making is a fantastic way to immerse yourself in the five steps of creativity theory. When we talk about creativity theory it’s typically within the context of problem-solving.
Creativity theory breaks the creative process down into five steps:
• Preparation
• Incubation
• Inspiration
• Evaluation
• Implementation
And by no means is creativity theory limited to the field of art. A scientist in her research lab or a product designer in his studio goes through these steps on a daily basis in search of answers.
The five steps of creativity theory look like this:
Step 1: Preparation
When you grapple with the problem you want to solve.
You consciously pose a question to yourself with the intention of letting the answer bubble up from your unconscious mind. In other words, you’re using your conscious linear thinking to prepare yourself for unconscious intuitive thinking.
Of course, the problem you grapple with can take many forms. But typically you either want to create something new or to find a solution.
When making collages:
The preparation step feels like getting clear on your intention for making the collage. Just think about how people like to use collages for their vision boards, for example.
Step 2: Incubation
When you step away from the problem to play.
You let your unconscious mind work while having fun doing something that excites or energizes you. You can get your creative juices flowing via creative play by doing simple repetitive actions like free writing, making marks, scribbling, and doodling.
You can step away by engaging in physical activities like going for a walk, yoga, or playing sports.
And it’s important to note that enjoyable routine activities also do the trick. Sometimes doing the laundry, taking a shower, or making a sandwich allows you just enough distance from the problem to let the answer incubate.
Basically, your objective is to be active in doing something that keeps your attention in the present moment while your ideas are marinating in your unconscious mind.
When making collages:
The incubation step feels like getting into flow by making your collage fodder and playing around with your materials.
Step 3: Inspiration
When you get your intuitive aha moments.
Your insights will come to you via stray thoughts, images, or ideas that bubble up to the surface of your conscious mind.
When making collages:
The inspiration step feels like taking inspired action when you’re intuitively cutting out bits of paper and gluing them down. It also feels exciting like finding connections between ideas.
Step 4: Evaluation
When you follow your impulses and work with your insights.
You’re trying stuff out and going with what’s working. It feels effortless like letting yourself go downstream. Although you’re evaluating and comparing, you’re not pushing yourself. You’re still very much in the flow of creating.
When making collages:
The evaluation step feels like going with your impulses when composing your collages. You might be cutting up your fodder into shapes and choosing your favorite bits to glue down.
Step 5: Implementation
When you revise in order to bring your project to its completion.
You’ve gotta be okay with knowing that many other possible solutions exist. And for now, you’ve simply chosen one.
It’s important to note that the creative process is iterative. This means you move forward by repeating steps until you’re satisfied with your outcome.
Anytime you feel stuck, you can step away (Step 2: Incubation) and allow for new insights (Step 3: Inspiration). Or you can try something new (Step 4: Evaluation) and revise in order to finish (Step 5: Implementation).
Basically, you’re letting your momentum carry you forward, with each iteration bringing you closer to your desired outcome.
When making collages:
The implementation step feels like making your final decisions and calling it done. It might look like finding the perfect bits to fill any gaps, playing with contrast, or adding words sparked by the imagery. It might also look like cutting up your current composition and using it as fodder to begin a new one.
Conclusion.
Collage-making is an excellent type of creative play. You can include it as part of your personal creativity practice, along with self-care. You can use it as a catalyst for getting past your resistance and into flow. You can also use it for gaining clarity and problem-solving. And the best part about collage is that you simply cannot fail if you’re open to trying new things. Smile.
If you’re looking for ways to have fun with your creative side, I’d love to help you.
Click here to learn more about my online workshops on the course offerings page.
A bunch of us sat on the studio floor with piles of magazines between us. We were each given a blank poster board and told to cut up magazine pages looking for images and words to paste on our boards.
We were told to make a vision collage of our “dream life.”
And while everyone got all busy flipping through magazines, all I could think about was how the heck I was gonna spend the next three hours in that room without going completely bonkers.
How I flunked vision board class.
For whatever reason, there weren’t enough glue sticks and scissors to go around.
This meant you had to tear out magazine pages until you got a hold of some scissors. And then you had to cut like mad until you could exchange your scissors for a glue stick.
Keep in mind that most magazines are 80% ads for beauty and luxury products.
So while I was frantically flipping through some magazines and looking at all those ads, it dawned on me that I had no idea of what my “dream life” looked like.
Of course, I could tear out magazine pages of beautiful cars and homes, sculpted bodies, and perfect smiles.
But if I’m gonna make a poster to hang on my wall as a visual reminder of my “dream life,” it’s not gonna be a collage of luxury products or perfect people.
Now don’t get me wrong, I too want an abundant life surrounded by beautiful things. I too want to feel good about my appearance.
I simply think of those things as the by-products of having a vision. And not as the vision itself.
To make a long story short, I ended up tearing out lots of magazine pages without even looking at them. And then I proceeded to cut them into flower-like shapes.
So instead of ending up with a collage of happy people, pretty homes, and beautiful travel destinations like everybody else, I ended up with abstract flowers.
That was my first and only vision board class. I totally flunked out. And I’m not ashamed to say I’m a vision board dropout.
Because with hindsight, I can see that I was on to something.
Namely, there’s a big difference between identifying your intentions for the life you want versus your goals for the things you want to have.
Why I’m bent on teaching creativity.
A lot has happened since that fated vision board class 15 years ago. Now I know that my vision for who I want to become is all about teaching creativity.
And it’s been a long time coming.
To begin with, I started teaching kids English via art and play some twelve years ago. And when the pandemic hit I figured out how to give my classes online.
That’s something I’d never imagined possible for the hands-on classes I teach.
And about four years back, I discovered that I absolutely love learning via online courses. I love going at my own pace and being able to re-watch lessons whenever I want. I also love courses that come with downloadable material like audios and worksheets.
I had to become a teacher and student of online learning before I could envision myself teaching an online workshop.
My teaching truths.
Everything I've done in my life so far has prepared me to combine my love of art-making, process, writing, self-discovery, and inspired living into a workshop I can teach.
It won’t surprise you to find out that as an artist my preferred method for teaching is play immersion. Yep, it’s all about having fun with your creative side.
Because immersing yourself in the creative process of play leads to flow. And flow is just another word for alignment.
The way you get to experience alignment is by trusting your intuition, getting clarity on what you want, expressing your creativity, and feeling excited about what’s possible for you.
My teaching truths go like this:
1. Everyone is a born creator. And everyone can express their creativity.
2. Everyone can play. And play is productive.
3. Through the creative process we can learn to trust our intuition and honor the present moment.
There are lots of courses that can teach you about making art. And there are lots of courses that can teach you about growth mindset and alignment.
But my calling is to use creativity as the spark for your inner shift.
The way I see it, you can’t have inner growth without creativity. And although you can try to understand your creativity conceptually, you are meant to experience it
personally:
• One insightful moment of creative play can dissolve years of resistance giving you new-found energy
• The fun you have with your creative side spills over into all parts of your life
• Igniting the creative spark inside you gives you fresh eyes to try new things and make changes
Because there’s only ONE difference between people who consider themselves “creative” and people who don’t. The ones who do are in the habit of expressing their creativity on a regular basis.
If you’re looking for ways to have fun with your creative side, I’d love to help you.
Click here to learn more about my online workshops on the course offerings page.
The all-or-nothing mentality.
What makes us too scared to try? Well, let me tell you. The reason is we live in an age of all-or-nothing thinking. And it goes like this:
• If I don’t have a whole hour, I might as well not bother to exercise.
• If I don’t have the whole morning, I might as well not get out my paints.
• If I don’t have the perfect tools, I might as well not bother to start.
Feel free to write your own all-or-nothing misbelief:
If I don’t have ________________ then why bother doing ________________.
Another way the all-or-nothing mentality shows up for us is like this:
• If I don’t stick to my plan, I might as well not bother to keep trying.
• If I don’t stay on my diet for breakfast, I might as well not bother for the rest of the day.
Feel free to write your own all-or-nothing misbelief:
If I mess up ________________ then why bother continuing with ________________.
Do ya see what’s going on here? There’s an expectation of what our results should look like. We’re holding ourselves to an ideal that only exists in our minds. We expect to have the perfect amount of time to get the perfect kind of results. It’s crazy.
Let’s say you haven’t exercised in months because you can’t find 60 minutes in your day. (Hello! This is totally me.) And let’s say you decide to do a little yoga for 10 minutes today. Well, you just increased your exercising output by a gazillion percent because you went from nada to 10 minutes. That’s like going from running a mile in an hour to running a mile in a minute.
Those ten minutes that didn’t seem worth your time just turned you into a rock star. Oh, yeah.
Or let’s say you’ve been really good about eating clean and then you find yourself having dinner with friends and eating every possible fried thing on the menu. You can let your dinner derail you for the rest of the week. Or you can get over yourself for messing up and move on.
Sometimes what keeps us from trying scary things is that we’re unwilling to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. Yikes.
The just-for-today mentality.
Let me propose a cure for the all-or-nothing mentality. The first step alone will cure you forever:
Step 1. Get over yourself for messing up and move on.
Yep, stop complicating your life by thinking everything is about you. Get over it.
The next step is about taking action with your new attitude. And it will only take a minute of your time. No lie.
The way to get over the all-or-nothing mentality is by adopting the just-for-today mentality. Do it like a game. Simply play along and see what happens.
Step 2. Take a minute every morning to set your intention to think differently. Just for today.
Remember, you’ve decided to try something new and different from what you’ve done before. So don’t have any expectations of what will happen. None. Nada. The whole point is to play the game because you’re only gonna do it for 24 hours. No more.
Try having a just-for-today mentality for 21 days. I’ve numbered the prompts below, but you don’t have to do them in any particular order. Let your intuition guide you.
1. Just for today, I will assume that everything is always working out for me.
2. Just for today, I will feed my spirit by doing something I truly enjoy.
3. Just for today, I will NOT feel the need to explain myself.
4. Just for today, I will give myself permission to not care about what others think.
5. Just for today, I will only make decisions that feel good.
6. Just for today, I will treat myself like royalty.
7. Just for today, I will chill and not try to solve all my problems at once.
8. Just for today, I will invite anyone who doesn’t like me to kiss my butt.
9. Just for today, I will NOT be afraid to receive all the love coming my way.
10. Just for today, I will see everything in my life as a gift.
11. Just for today, I will NOT be afraid to feel joy for all the beauty in my life.
12. Just for today, I will appreciate my body by pampering myself.
13. Just for today, I will feel excited about what’s possible for me.
14. Just for today, I will feel super fancy by dressing in my good clothes..
15. Just for today, I will honor myself by asking for help.
16. Just for today, I will give myself the space to bask in how good it feels to be alive.
17. Just for today, I will trust my intuition to take the natural next step.
18. Just for today, I will NOT compare myself to someone who’s not me.
19. Just for today, I will feel satisfied that I’ve done enough for one day.
20. Just for today, I will be my own rainbow by wearing lots of happy colors.
21. Just for today, I will look for all the happy surprises waiting for me.
To do fabulous start by thinking like your future fab self now. Because she’s treating herself with kindness and having fun styling her outfits. She’s expressing her creativity and not waiting for a special occasion. She knows she doesn’t need a reason to feel good. And she certainly doesn’t need permission from anyone else to shine.
Let Twinki-Winki fill your life with color, joy, smiles, style, and attitude. Let’s do fabulous together.
You’re sure to find tons of scarves in the big wide world, but the large square scarf is queen. For a great refresher on basic scarf types, check out The Ultimate Scarf Guide. It’s groovy.
For today, let’s focus on the large square scarf.
This scarf guide has five parts:
Part 1: Why your large square scarf is your new BFF.
Part 2. How to wear your large square scarf.
Part 3. Why you won’t wanna live without your large square scarf.
Part 4. How to choose your perfect large square scarf.
Part 5. Bonus shopping and care tips.
Part 1: Why your large square scarf is your new BFF.
Before we look at different ways to wear your scarf, let’s talk about style fixes. Ain’t nobody perfect around here and we could all use a superhero now and again to save our butts.
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superscarf!
Ladies, if you don’t have a large square scarf in your closet, run out and get one. Now.
Think about how often you use your jewelry and bags. Well, all your fashion accessories are vital for your wardrobe. Along with your basics, they’re your closet staples. Your fashion accessories are part of your look and should always add to your outfit.
And scarves are right up there with jewelry and bags (and shoes). That said, get ready to find out why the large square scarf is perfect for all your style needs and fixes.
• When you want to highlight your face.
The next time you’ve got a meeting or a date, toss on that tried-and-true scarf. You know which one I mean. It’s the one that always gets you compliments because it accentuates your beautiful eyes.
No matter your outfit, you can use a fun colorful scarf to bring attention upward to your face. Choose colors that highlight your eyes and hair. It’s such an easy way to experiment with bright colors or unusual color combinations. Just toss it on and tie a knot. Hello, fabulous!
• When you want that easy-breezy fancy look.
Ya know how some people always look so put together that they make the rest of us look like slobs? Well, apart from the fact that they’re so easy to hate, they can teach us something.
They know exactly how to wear their scarves with style. If you don’t believe me, start paying attention. Because in their day-to-day, they're simply wearing casual basics like white shirts and khaki slacks. But they’ve got their accessories down to a science. Their jewelry, scarves, bags, and shoes make them look like a million bucks. (Of course, they’ve got great haircuts and perfect nails too, but we won’t go into that here.)
The fact is, without spending a lot of money you can use a scarf to dress up any casual outfit. The same goes for turning your work look into a night-on-the-town look. Take off your blazer, roll up your sleeves, and toss on an easy-breezy fancy scarf. You can even wear it as a halter top over your camisole. Oh, yeah.
• When you’ve got a spill cover-up emergency.
Honestly, it’s Murphy’s Law. I don’t care if it’s tomato sauce, coffee, ice cream, grape juice, toothpaste, or baby vomit. It will end up on your shirt where everyone can see it. Guaranteed.
Carry an emergency scarf wherever you go. The large square scarf is so thin and lightweight, that you can fold it and tuck it away in the pocket of your purse. And if you’re wearing one of those tiny purses, you can tie your scarf to the strap. You’re welcome.
• When you’re all dressed up and feeling chilly.
The next time you’re heading out the door to a fancy event or party, grab your large sheer scarf. It’s less bulky than a party jacket or blazer any day.
Because you won't know ahead of time if where you’re going will be warm or cold. But knowing you’ve got your scarf at the ready, means no more carrying around your jacket all night. And no more scrunching your shoulders up to your ears to keep your neck warm, either. Hallelujah.
• When you’re in a big-time hurry.
Sometimes you can’t help but rush. One appointment goes over and your plan to go home and change your clothes flies out the window. Use a scarf when you’re in a hurry. When there's no time to change, figure out an outfit, or figure out your hair for that matter.
That’s when you can use a scarf as a quick fix to upgrade whatever you’ve got on. And if you’re having a bad hair day, you can use it to tie your hair back or as a headband. Done.
• When you’re bored with your wardrobe.
Sometimes your decision-making power has run dry. And just looking at your closet puts you over the edge. Am I right? But before you dive into the depths of I’ve-got-nothing-to-wear despair, consider how scarves can extend the life of your wardrobe.
Use a fun colorful scarf to breathe new life into what you’ve already got in your closet. You can create lots of outfits with your wardrobe basics by just switching things up with scarves in different colors and textures. Like your favorite black top and pants. Throw on a colorful scarf and your outfit just got a whole new vibe. And the more scarves you have to choose from the better. Smile.
• When you’re feeling blah.
Who the heck knows why we get those blah days. They just show up uninvited. The only thing to do is figure out how to boost your mood. My advice? Delight your senses. Immerse yourself in color, texture, scent, and sound. Try this:
Take a quick shower and rinse off with cold water. Blast your favorite upbeat song and spritz on some perfume. Throw on something super-soft or silky that feels luxurious. Get your glow on with some moisturizing makeup. And last but not least, tie a colorful scarf around your neck or head to accentuate your face.
Dressing up is a glorious way to self-express and influence your psyche. Before you know it, you’ll be heading off to work in a better mood. And if it’s the weekend, you’ll be feeling way too spunky to stay at home. Mission accomplished.
Part 2. How to wear your large square scarf.
Because of its square shape and large size, it’s the most versatile scarf type. The more you master the art of folding your scarf, the more versatility you’ll discover. You can wear it on your head, in your hair, around your neck, over your shoulders, at your waist, as a halter top, etc.
• On your head.
Worn as a headcover, the traditional way is to fold it in half like a triangle. It gets tied with a knot under your chin or at the nape of your neck. It usually can wrap around your neck at least once.
It can also be wrapped around your head and worn as a turban.
• In your hair.
Worn in your hair, it can be folded and tied with a knot at the nape of your neck. The trick is to take the opposite corners of the scarf and fold them both in towards the center. After three or four folds, you’ll end up with a narrow length of scarf you can use as a headband.
• Around your neck.
Worn around your neck, the traditional way is to fold it in half like a triangle. It gets tied with a knot to hold it in place. It usually can wrap around your neck more than once. The larger the scarf, the more ways you can wrap and tie it. You can wear the knot in the front or on your shoulder for more pizzazz.
• Over your shoulders.
Worn over your shoulders, it can be worn open. Or loosely tied in the front. If large enough, it can wrap around your neck at least once.
• On your upper body.
Worn as a halter top, two corners get tied with a knot at the nape of the neck while the other two corners get tied behind the back.
If you’ve got two large square scarves of the same size, you can tie them together to make a poncho. The top two corners of one scarf get tied to the top two corners of the other scarf. Then you slip it on so that you’ve got your neck between the two knots you just made. Next, you’ll wanna tie the bottom corners together. You’ll end up with a knot on your right and left sides.
• At your waist.
Worn at your waist, it can be folded and tied with a knot. The trick is to take the opposite corners of the scarf and fold them both in towards the center. After three or four folds, you’ll end up with a narrow length of scarf you can use as a belt.
Part 3. Why you won’t wanna live without your large square scarf.
Okay, so we’ve gone over why the large square scarf is perfect for all your style needs and fixes. And we’ve looked at different ways to wear your scarf. By now, surely you're convinced that the large square scarf is the answer to looking stylish and feeling fab forever and ever. Amen.
But since I can’t seem to shut up about it, here are a few more reasons to love the large square scarf:
• It’s the classic scarf type for a reason.
There’s not a single stylish European woman who doesn’t have one in her closet. Next to her khaki trench coat and ballet flats, her large square scarf (preferably from Hermes) is her pride possession. Uh-huh.
As a result, when you’re shopping for a scarf the square scarf type is the easiest to find. Because the Europeans can’t live without them. If you don’t believe me, open up a fashion magazine and check out the ads by the European high-end fashion brands.
• It’s the easiest to buy according to your budget.
Yes, the ones we’re used to seeing in magazines are made of silk. But even Hermes has come out with a polyester version of their scarves. And get this, they're even more expensive than the silk ones. I’m not sure why. But don’t worry. It's easy to find a scarf that fits your budget.
Large square scarves are made of many different materials. They come in silk, satin, polyester, rayon, organza, chiffon, cotton, linen, and blends. The price will depend on the material, the quality, and where it’s made.
Your scarf is a wardrobe workhorse. You won't regret investing in a quality scarf that fits your lifestyle.
• It’s the easiest to carry with you wherever you go.
As I mentioned in Part 1, the large square scarf is so thin and lightweight, that you can fold it and tuck it away in the pocket of your purse or cargo pants. There’s no bulk and no weight to bother you. And if you’re going to a party and wearing one of those tiny purses, you can tie your scarf to the strap.
• It’s hands down the most versatile type of scarf to wear.
As I mentioned in Part 2, because of its square shape and large size, it’s the most versatile scarf when it comes to use. It can be worn on your head, in your hair, around your neck, over your shoulders, at your waist, as a halter top, etc. The more you master the art of folding your scarf, the more versatility you’ll discover.
• It’s a travel wardrobe staple.
Lastly, when you’re traveling with a limited wardrobe, its compactness and versatility make it a fabulous choice to pack for your trip. You can change your look wearing the same clothes just by choosing to wear a scarf at your waist or over your shoulders.
Part 4. How to choose your perfect large square scarf.
Before you run out and buy a scarf, review the following questions and the scarf tips below:
• Is it made of a material that will irritate your skin?
• Does the color flatter your face?
• Does it fit your lifestyle?
• How will you wear and layer it? Can you use it in more than one way?
• Does it work with what’s in your closet?
• Is it easy to care for?
Part 5. Bonus shopping and care tips.
Go for a cheerful design with vibrant colors. You’ll want it multicolor so that it’s easy to mix and match with your existing wardrobe. And you’ll want to wear it with both formal and casual outfits.
But no matter what type of scarf you buy and what it’s made of, you’ll never go wrong taking extra care when washing your scarf. Follow these steps and your scarf will last you pretty much forever:
Depending on the material, you’ll either wanna hand wash in lukewarm water or use a delicate cycle in cold water. Always hang dry or lay flat. Never hang in direct sunlight. And do not wring or twist to remove water. If necessary, squeeze gently with a soft towel.
Conclusion.
The large square scarf is perfect for all your style needs and fixes. It’s easy to find one that fits your budget and that you can carry with you wherever you go. It’s super versatile, fun to wear, and it extends the life of your wardrobe. You’ll love wearing one because of how it makes you look and how fancy it feels. And you’ll love how well it fits your busy lifestyle. It’s a wardrobe workhorse and a travel staple. Trust me, you won’t wanna live without at least one large square scarf. And by asking yourself a few basic questions, you’ll be sure to always find the perfect one for you.
For a great refresher on basic scarf types, check out The Ultimate Scarf Guide. You’re gonna love it too.
Confession time.
What if an introverted kid who spends her childhood making art alone in her room and secretly wishing she had superpowers grows up to become a headstrong artist and designer with lofty dreams. Only to find herself forever stuck in a teeny apartment plagued by perfectionism and nightmares. That is, until the day she discovers that her sassy misfit attitude is a superpower for getting herself unstuck and inspiring others to do the same.
Yep, this is my story.
Namely, I got tired of not letting myself dream big.
Even though I’ve achieved plenty of things I’m super proud of, somewhere along the way I decided playing small was easier than having big dreams. And ya know where that got me? Stuck in a teeny-weeny apartment, that's where.
Turns out the Universe has a wicked sense of humor. My surroundings shrunk to match my desires. The good news is I’ve figured out that perfection is a big fat lie. Yeah, I’ve become aware of how perfectionism has kept my joy on hold. Pretty much all my life. Yikes.
I’ve been ashamed about not having a big studio to work in.
There, I said it.
Giant stupid misbelief #1:
I can’t possibly be a real artist and successful business owner if I don’t have a big studio.
Feel free to write your own giant stupid misbelief:
I can’t possibly be a ________________ and successful ________________ if I don’t have ________________.
Flashback.
So let me back up a bit to give you some context…
When I first took the plunge to make art, everything pretty much lined up for me. I quit my well-paying interior design job to make theater props. I found a waitressing job to make ends meet. And surprisingly, I made lots of art.
My first art show happened in a fun restaurant about a year later. Then I found my first gallery. My work sold well and I went full-time making art. I had my first fancy solo show about a year after that. I’m leaving out a ton of details, but the main events happened about a year apart.
Fast-forward a few years and there I am living in another country and making sculptures. I started making art with toylike qualities. It’s been my obsession since 2001 to make art that allows for play. Anyway, it looked like everything was gonna work out great. At first.
I found three galleries in Madrid and one in Lisbon to show my work. And although my work sold well, the galleries were not all that “professional.” A few years later, I’d had enough. Instead of owning up that I’d chosen these shady galleries because I was desperately looking for validation, I got super pissed about working with galleries altogether and quit. As in, f**k all y’all cheating lazy-ass galleries! I’m outta here!
I kept making my art on a commission basis and started making books. And that had a deep three-year learning curve. Why? Because I was such a freaking perfectionist about the illustrations and book design. Of course. Duh.
Mind you, I was living in a big apartment at the time and had plenty of room for my office and studio. No teeny-weeny woe-is-me apartment blues quite yet.
And because I had a great studio space, my best friend Laila suggested I give art classes in English to her ten-year-old daughter. Hello! Do you mean someone will pay me to have fun making stuff with a great kid? And all I have to do is speak in English?
My first student is now in college. I’ve been teaching English via art and play to kids in Madrid for over twelve years. And when the pandemic hit I figured out how to give my classes online. That’s something I’d never imagined possible for the hands-on classes I teach.
Not only do I love teaching kids, but it’s been a steady source of income for me. And yet, the truth is I've been feeling bad about myself.
I’ve been ashamed about not making art full-time.
Ya see I had this snobbish attitude about artists who make art part-time while working another job. I figured they were scared to take the leap. I was a total snob. No lie. I’ve only now figured out that I’ve been a snob to myself.
Remember how I said the Universe has a wicked sense of humor? Yep, I’ve become one of those artists I used to frown upon because they didn’t make art full-time.
Giant stupid misbelief #2:
I can’t possibly be a real artist and successful business owner if I don’t make art full-time.
Feel free to write your own giant stupid misbelief:
I can’t possibly be a ________________ and successful ________________ if I don’t (do) ________________.
My big self.
So there you have it. For many years I’ve held on to my giant stupid misbeliefs as truths.
I’ve had big studios and I’ve worked on my art full-time. But when my circumstances changed, my perfectionism had me arguing for my own limitations. I stopped taking chances. I used my fear as an excuse to not move forward with the scary thing of trying something new and different. I decided playing small was easier than having big dreams.
All it takes is the willingness to fess up and give yourself permission to shine.
That said, I’m kicking my life-sucking guilt narratives out the door. I’m too old for this crap. I’m gonna be kind to myself and let it go. It’s all part of my inspired rebel living philosophy which seems to expand with every confession I make.
The fact that you’re even reading this is proof that I’m stepping into my truth. Twinki-Winki is the next level of my big self.
Because now that I’ve told everyone my studio is tiny, nothing can stop me from doing my quirky photo shoots. And now that my teaching is no longer a secret, I can create that vision board course I’ve always wanted to teach.
Take it from me, a recovering perfectionist and introvert now showing up in videos as the Pink Fairy for all to see. Because I’m giving myself permission to shine by caring less and playing more.
I like to preach that all the good you want in your life starts with feeling good about yourself.
Looks like every day I’m a little smarter about living what I preach. Yay!.
To do fabulous start by thinking like your future fab self now. Because she’s treating herself with kindness and having fun styling her outfits. She’s expressing her creativity and not waiting for a special occasion. She knows she doesn’t need a reason to feel good. And she certainly doesn’t need permission from anyone else to shine.
Let Twinki-Winki fill your life with color, joy, smiles, style, and attitude. Let’s do fabulous together.
Me so wanni twinki-winki.
While writing a book, I decided on the name for my brand. That’s the creative process at work, don’t ya know.
There I was writing the chapter where the kids in my story have this pivotal moment. Ya see it’s when they get all happy and sing the “Twinki-Winki” song together. And that’s when I realized that this moment was the whole point of my book. Yeah, that’s when the sparks went off.
Because it hit me that this story and my purpose behind creating my brand are the same:
In the story, the song is first sung by Pika, a little circus bird with big dreams. And because Pika speaks in funny broken English, she says “me so wanni twinki-winki.” It’s her way of saying she wants to shine like a star.
Me so wanni twinki-winki. You so wanni twinki-winki.
You’re not here on this planet to hide under a rock. You already are who you were born to be. But you’ve gotta let yourself thrive. You’re here to dream big, act big, and love big.
Permission to shine whenever you want. Granted. As in, heck yeah.
And on that note, here’s the Twinki-Winki song for ya. I had to turn the song from my book into a real song, don’t ya know. Click play:
Dreaming big is how we thrive. Living small is how we hide.
Turns out the Universe has a wicked sense of humor. When my perfectionism got the best of me, I stopped letting myself dream big and my surroundings shrunk to match my desires. The good news is I’ve figured out that perfection is a big fat lie. Yeah, I’ve become aware of how perfectionism has kept my joy on hold. Pretty much all my life. Yikes.
The fact that you’re even reading this is proof that I’m getting unstuck and stepping into my truth. Because Twinki-Winki is the next level of my big self.
Ya see I’ve combined all my loves into Twinki-Winki - my art, design, fashion, and teaching. And by doing so, I’m finally giving myself permission to shine. Like this:
• Learning to overcome my perfectionism and fears about not being good enough.
• Reminding myself about how much I love having fun with fashion, and how expressing my personal style on the outside makes me feel braver on the inside.
• Figuring out how I feel about the world through storytelling and writing.
• Teaching about the creative process of art-making and inspired living.
Our deepest fear.
If dreaming big is how we thrive, then living small is how we hide. So the million-dollar question is:
What keeps us living small in the first place?
And if you say we’re afraid to mess up and feel stupid, that’s not the real reason.
And if you say we’re worried about disappointing others, that’s not it either.
And if you say we’re not smart enough or wealthy enough or don’t have friends in high places. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Those are the narratives we’ve invented to justify our fears. But they’re not the cause.
So what keeps us living small in the first place?
We think by living small we’re keeping ourselves safe. And maybe at one point in our lives this was a belief that worked. But is this belief still serving us? Or has it become a giant stupid misbelief.
The irony is that by living small you’re not keeping yourself safe. You’re keeping yourself stuck. Because chances are that you’re using it as an excuse to not move forward with the scary thing of trying something new and different. I know this because I’ve done this. I stopped taking chances and decided playing small was easier than having big dreams.
Let Marianne Williamson inspire you with her beautiful poem, Our Deepest Fear. Let her words sink in slowly, deep into your bones.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson
Read this poem a gazillion times if ya need to. Your inner knowing will recognize the truth in these powerful words even if it makes you super uncomfortable. Your discomfort is only a sign that maybe you’re loosening your grip on a dear old narrative you’ve latched on to over time.
Who are you not to be fabulous!
Take it from me, a recovering perfectionist and introvert now showing up in videos as the Pink Fairy for all to see. Because I’m giving myself permission to shine by caring less and playing more. Amen.
To do fabulous start by thinking like your future fab self now. Because she’s treating herself with kindness and having fun styling her outfits. She’s expressing her creativity and not waiting for a special occasion. She knows she doesn’t need a reason to feel good. And she certainly doesn’t need permission from anyone else to shine.
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Let’s be smart consumers who spend their hard-earned cash on products and services we love and brands that love us back. But where to begin, right?
“Look at me!
Look at me now!
It is fun to have fun
but you have to know how.”
- Dr. Seuss
Know the ten commandments of shopping.
Here’s a common-sense list of things to keep in mind whenever you go shopping:
1. It’s gotta fit you.
Think about the size. If it doesn’t fit your body, it won’t matter how special it is. Period.
2. It’s gotta work with your existing stuff.
Think about the use. If you can’t come up with at least three ways to wear it with your existing wardrobe, you won’t be wearing it much.
3. It’s gotta work with your lifestyle.
Think about ease. If it’s not practical or easy to take care of in your day-to-day, it’s a pain.
4. It’s gotta be made well.
Think about quality. Look at the details. Because if it starts to fall apart, you’ll stop using it.
5. It’s gotta be made of the right materials for your needs.
Think about skin sensitivity and weight. If it makes you itch, it’ll drive you crazy. The same goes for if it’s too heavy or too light. You’ll stop wearing it.
6. It’s gotta have the right colors for you.
Think about your face. We’ve all got our favorite colors to wear because they highlight our face. If the color doesn’t flatter you, it won’t matter how pretty it is. You’ll hate wearing it.
7. It’s gotta have the right shape for you.
Think about your body type. Size and shape go together to flatter your body. If the shape doesn’t flatter you, it won’t matter how stylish it is. Forget about it.
8. It’s gotta allow for play.
Think about multiple uses. In addition to coming up with at least three ways to wear it with your existing wardrobe, you want it to enhance your style. It should help you breathe new life into what you’ve already got in your closet.
9. It’s gotta help you feel good.
Think about your sense of self. Whatever you wear and however you decide to wear it should have the ultimate goal of helping you feel good. Be that via comfort, style, ease, fashion, fun, beauty, elegance, or all of the above.
10. It’s gotta help you invest in yourself.
Think about your future self. Be her now. Your wardrobe should support who you’re becoming. With every new addition to your wardrobe, you’re investing in yourself and your desire to live the life you want.
The ten questions to ask yourself before you buy.
We can turn the ten commandments of shopping into ten questions to ask yourself before you hit the order button or pull out your wallet:
1. Does this fit me? Is it my size?
2. Will this work with my existing wardrobe?
3. Is this practical and easy to take care of?
4. Is it well made? What do I know about the details?
5. Is it made from a material I’m sensitive to? Is the weight pleasing to me?
6. Does the color flatter my face? Does it boost my mood?
7. Does the shape flatter my body? Does it feel like me?
8. Does this breathe new life into what I’ve already got in my closet?
9. Does owning and wearing this make me feel good?
10. Is this an investment in myself?
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You’d think we’d hold on to it for dear life. But no. It’s so surprisingly easy to forget. Which is truly insane. The one thing that makes us wanna open ourselves up and live out loud, well, it’s the very same thing that we forget lickety-split in the day-to-day survival of our ordinary lives.
And life keeps on keeping on with or without us. And then one day you’re fifty. Just like that. Uh-huh.
When I was in my twenties and thirties, if people asked me what I was working on, I’d talk their ears off. I was always hyper-excited about my art and I was hungry for validation. I felt I needed to justify myself. I had a deep need to prove I could make it as an artist.
I’m not like that anymore. What's changed is that I now trust in that feeling that tells me what I’m doing is what I’m meant to do. There’s nothing to prove.
Discipline is not what you think it is.
I recently read a book called Easier by Chris Westfall. There were so many "aha" moments while reading this story that I was grinning from ear to ear. Like when he says that discipline isn’t based on willpower.
Chris tells us discipline is simply remembering what you want. Whoa!
Could it be possible that holding on to that glimmer of purpose is the only thing we should be worried about? I mean, could it be as simple as using our willpower to focus on what we want. Instead of on what we think we need to be doing to get what we want?
Because there is a huge difference between the two.
What we want for ourselves is based on our values and desires. In comparison, what we think we should be doing to get what we want is based on how we value difficulty as a measure of our worthiness.
In other words, we think we need to bust our butts and prove ourselves to be worthy of what we want.
And that’s why we feel stuck. Our thinking is flawed from the get-go.
Discipline is about living your values. Accepting this new take on discipline won’t make life easy. But it will make life easier.
The more ease you allow into your life, the more you thrive.
Sometimes I miss all that energy and enthusiasm I had to prove myself to the world. It’s what makes me wonder if I’ve lost something along my way here. But this year I’m realizing there’s simply been a shift. The enthusiasm to prove myself has shifted to an eagerness for ease in my life.
Back to the book Easier by Chris Westfall, he drops another wisdom bomb on us with his idea of what it means to have a lazy attitude. According to Chris, it’s good to be actively lazy.
I bet nobody is telling you to be lazy. Didn’t think so.
Being actively lazy means focusing on whatever makes you happy at that moment and then moving from activity to activity naturally like you would on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
What’s more satisfying than spending your day completely absorbed by what you’re doing because it’s FUN… and then feeling productive to boot?
What satisfaction feels like.
Satisfaction means a lot of different things to different people. But one thing’s for sure, satisfaction is the opposite of feeling frustrated and stuck.
Satisfaction feels natural, joyful, and exciting. Think of how you move through a lazy Sunday afternoon:
• Satisfaction feels natural like following your impulses
• Satisfaction feels joyful like what you’re doing matters
• Satisfaction feels exciting like you’re ready for anything
The joy of getting older.
Maybe what happens is that as we get older, we get more comfortable with the truth that we don’t know diddly-squat about where we’re going, no matter how hard we try to plan and navigate our way through life. We’ve learned that everything always ends up changing. And that it’s okay anyway. Plans are only guideposts, reminders, flags, markers. They keep us moving in the right direction. After a while, you won’t need them anymore. You’ll know which way to go intuitively.
These days, it seems like I’ve gone from having clearly defined goals for my future to only having a vague sense of direction. Turns out that's a good thing. I guess I do have something to show for getting older. Smile.
I’ve figured out what satisfaction feels like.
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For beach towels and blankets go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/home-textiles
It’s time to play.
The art-making process begins with play. This is true for any creative undertaking. You’ve got a vision in your head that you wanna bring to life. But you have to play around a bit before you figure out what you’re doing. In other words, things just get messy before they become clear. The only obstacle between you and that thing you wanna make so badly is, well, you.
Ya see, if there’s any part of you that needs to know how to finish before you start, it will rear it’s ugly head and keep you from trying.
The difference between feeling stuck or feeling ease is in your willingness to try. Your resistance to trying is only your fear of messing up. Making art is inherently about not being afraid of getting it wrong. It’s about trusting in the process so that whatever feels “wrong” is just the next step.
I did. And eventually, I ended up with these sassy colorful fashion misfits looking back at me. I started calling them Fab Ladies. And the name stuck.
Fab Ladies in the house.
Let’s use my Fab Ladies project as an example of the creative process. The only thing I knew about this project from the get-go was that I wanted to do three things:
1. Paint on paper
2. Create a modular painting
3. Apply this new artwork to Twinki-Winki products
The idea was to paint something big that I could separate into smaller equal parts for scanning. So I decided on using twelve pieces of thick black construction paper as my substrate.
Combined, the twelve papers would make a big original. But smaller combinations of four or six papers could also work.
Layer, layer, layer.
My usual modus operandi is to work in layers. Each layer sets the stage for the next one by adding graphic elements of color, line, and texture. It’s an intentional building up of imagery that allows for lots of surprises. And this is where things get really messy, starting with the very first layer of white paint on my substrate:
1. Slap on white paint
2. Drip black ink all over
3. Spritz water all over
4. Dry
5. Sand
6. Paste on cut-out eyes
7. Sand away white paint where I want to see more black areas
8. Paste on shapes of colored tissue paper
9. Varnish
10. Draw with black ink to make figure shapes
11. Sand
12. Draw crayon lines in colors
13. Varnish
14. Paste on shapes of colored tissue paper
15. Sand
16. Varnish
The list goes on and on and on but you get the idea. There is an iterative process at play. Steps get repeated over and over until the composition feels finished.
Composition disposition.
In the beginning, the composition happens on its own. It’s like when you stare at the clouds and out of nowhere, you see a distinct shape that looks like a galloping horse or a flying dragon. The main bits are already there. The rest you add with some imagination.
Well, I started seeing figure shapes right away, especially after I pasted on my cut-out eyes. And so my Fab Ladies came into being layer upon layer. Sometimes they appeared like a whole figure, sometimes I intentionally added color and lines to add in what was missing. There is this delicate balance of play and arrangement happening that feels easy. The hard part is knowing when to stop.
Because if you stop short, the graphic elements won’t play nice together. The whole thing will feel wonky. But if you go overboard, you lose the sense of spontaneity. You end up covering any bits that hint at the energy that went into making the piece.
Product application.
After creating and composing the original artwork, it’s time to apply it to products. The finished art is now ready to be used for printing. This involves scanning the originals to create digital versions.
And this is how my Fab Ladies ended up dancing all over a chic backpack, throw blanket, and beach towel. They looked so good that I couldn’t resist adding Fab Ladies to my coffee mug and pillow collections as well. Smile.
The art-making process begins with play and the only obstacle between you and that thing you wanna make so badly is you. So remember, it’s perfectly okay to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. The truth is nobody does. And the irony is that you don’t have to.
You can apply this idea to anything you want to do in your life.
It’s the process of becoming that thrills us. It’s what makes us feel grateful to be alive.
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For beach towels and blankets go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/home-textiles
For throw pillows go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/accent-pillows
For coffee mugs go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/coffee-mugs
For bags and backpacks go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/bags
You know, the recording that’s stuck on almost perfect, but not quite. So even if I never added anything else to my list, I’d still be left with that nitpicking party pooper inside my head telling me I’m not ready yet.
So here I am, embracing my duality of being both wise and nitpicky. Attempting to anyway. And although I don’t know if that nagging feeling to always have to DO something will ever go away, I have a trick I use when I’m making art that helps me.
Whenever I reach a point on a painting where I can say I like what I’ve done (when it starts looking like I kinda sorta know what I’m doing), and before the nitpicking party pooper takes over, that’s when it happens. In that tiny window of a split-second space in between.
That’s when I reach for my trusty can of varnish and slap a juicy coat on.
I do this because I barely dare to breathe around a clean coat of varnish let alone touch it, until it’s dry. So the option to make any changes is completely eradicated by that coat of wet varnish. Just can’t go near it until the next day. Nope, gotta let it dry.
This trick to keep me from messing with something that actually feels right, well, I think it could work in other moments, too. It’s much like a reset button. And I think you should try it out.
Whenever you’re having an anxious moment, you can be still.
You can metaphorically speaking, slap a coat of varnish on that baby. Check back on it tomorrow when the varnish is dry. You can reset yourself.
Or better yet, before you even start feeling all worn out, it’s time for a reset break. And if you can use your reset break time to feel grateful, then you’ve just found your superpower to outwit that nitpicking party pooper inside your head.
Turn off, turn on again.
It goes like this:
You notice you’re feeling anxious. And you sit still just long enough to be okay with it. Then you allow yourself to take a break and do something you enjoy. And then you come back to the tasks at hand with renewed energy.
If you can only do one thing, do this:
Stand up with your arms in the air like you’ve just won a marathon. Take this power stance and grin your head off. Then say THANK YOU LIFE repeatedly out loud and see how that makes you feel.
It’s just not humanly possible. And isn’t that super-groovy to know!
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
- Anne Lamott
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For tote bags go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/bags
Yep, a scarf is your style solution for every outfit and every season. That’s why I’ve put together this scarf guide. Consider it a fabulous refresher on scarves with three main objectives:
• To clarify any confusion about scarf types.
• To encourage you to play with adding scarves to your wardrobe.
• To help you choose the perfect scarf for every season.
For a great refresher on the large square scarf, check out Your Guide To The Perfect Scarf For All Your Style Needs. It’s groovy.
This scarf guide has seven parts:
Part 1. The wonderful benefits of wearing scarves.
Part 2. The basic scarf types classified by use, shape, and size.
Part 3. The basic scarf materials - their color, feel, and weight.
Part 4. All the ways you can wear a scarf.
Part 5. When you’d wanna wear a scarf.
Part 6. How to choose the perfect scarf for color, warmth, and style.
Part 7. Bonus tips and three scarves that will serve you all year round.
Part 1. The wonderful benefits of wearing scarves.
Scarves are simply wonderful. There’s nothing like a scarf for color, warmth, and style. They help you switch things up, dress you up, keep you warm, and highlight your face. And they make it easy to feel fabulous any day of the week.
COLOR:
• Use a scarf to highlight your face. When worn around the neck, the colors of your scarf bring attention upward to your face and highlight your eyes.
• Use a scarf when you’re in a hurry. That messy bun hairdo, a little mascara, lip gloss, and your stylish scarf are all you need. It’s your 5-minute glam routine.
• Use a scarf to boost your mood. Dressing up is a glorious way to self-express and influence your psyche. A plush scarf will make you feel fancy.
• Use a scarf to accentuate your outfit. Your scarf colors can add play and contrast to what you’re wearing. It’s such an easy way to experiment with bright colors or unusual color combinations. Just toss it on!
WARMTH:
• Use a scarf to keep you warm. Not only can a fashionable scarf complete your look and glam you up, it can keep you warm too!
• Use a scarf to give you a cozy feeling. There’s nothing like wrapping yourself in a big soft fuzzy scarf when it’s cold.
STYLE:
• Use a scarf to dress up any casual outfit. Yep, your day outfit just turned into your night-on-the-town outfit because you tossed a fancy scarf over your shoulders.
• Use a colorful scarf to give yourself a flattering figure. You can draw attention to wherever you’re wearing your scarf like your head, hair, neck, or waist.
• Use a scarf as a quick fix on a bad hair day. You can use it in your hair like a headband.
• Use a scarf to extend your wardrobe. Scarves can breathe new life into what you’ve already got in your closet. You can create lots of outfits with your wardrobe basics by just switching things up with scarves in different colors and textures.
Part 2. The basic scarf types classified by use, shape, and size.
Now that you know what wearing a scarf can do for you and your wardrobe, let’s look into the different scarf types out there.
There are only a dozen or so basic scarf types but there are oodles of different names being used for them. And this creates a lot of confusion. The reason for the overabundance of scarf type names is the widespread idea that material and size determine the scarf type.
When scarves are classified by material and size what you end up with is a never-ending list. Because there’s no limit to the materials that can be used to make a scarf. Of course, if you already know what kind of material you want for a scarf, then this kind of list can work. It’s just not all that helpful when you’re looking for ideas for choosing a scarf.
It’s way more practical to classify scarves by use. Here’s why:
• The material doesn’t define the scarf type.
We’re no longer limited by traditional materials like silk and wool for making scarves. A blanket scarf need not be made of wool. A square scarf need not be made of silk. A stole need not be made of fur. And a boa scarf need not be made of feathers.
Truth is, any scarf type can be made of a variety of materials. And some of those materials will be more or less pleasing to you. It’s your personal preferences for certain materials that will determine why you like a scarf and when you want to wear it. (See Parts 3 and 5)
The only exception is the Pashmina which is a shawl made of spun cashmere from the wool of Changthangi goats native to the Kashmir region. So in the case of the Pashmina, the use of this special wool does define the scarf type.
• The size doesn’t define the scarf type.
Nope, any scarf type can have various sizes. A square scarf can be anywhere from small to extra large. What’s important to remember about scarf size is that it limits versatility. The larger the scarf, the more ways you can wear it.
When considering scarf size, you must also look at the shape. It’s the combination of shape and size that defines how the scarf will be used by you. That’s because how you can fold, wrap, and tie a scarf is limited by its size and shape. (See Part 4)
• How it’s used defines the scarf type.
How you choose to wear it on your body defines the type of scarf it is regardless of the size or material. And because scarves are so versatile, you may buy one scarf type but choose to wear it as another scarf type.
If you bought a “manila shawl” and instead of folding it in half and throwing it over your shoulders, you were to tie it at your waist, then what you’ve got is a “sarong.”
If you bought a “sarong” and instead of tying it at your waist, you were to wrap it around your upper body, then what you’ve got is a “wrap.”
And this is why I’ve created a list of basic scarf types classified by use, shape, and size. Because your intended use for the scarf is the first step in choosing the perfect scarf.
The basic scarf types can be classified by use, shape, and size.
A scarf is technically any material, woven or knitted, that’s worn around the neck or head. It’s typically long enough to wrap around the neck at least once. But as you will discover, the way you wear a scarf allows for a lot of play. What you consider to be a plain old “shawl” could turn out to be a “wrap” or a “sarong” depending on how you wear it. Smile.
Let’s take a look at scarf types classified by use, shape, and size.
14 SCARF TYPES:
1. Neckerchief
Use: folded in half like a triangle and tied at the neck
Shape: square
Size: small
Also known as a bandana or small square scarf.
2. Long Scarf
Use: worn wrapped around the neck, if it’s made of thin material can be tied at the neck
Shape: rectangle
Size: large
If it’s got fringe at the ends, it’s called a fringe scarf.
Also known as a muffler, rectangle scarf, oblong scarf, or shawl.
3. Skinny Scarf
Use: worn tied at the neck, tied to be worn as a headband, attached to a ponytail holder, tied at the waist to be worn as a belt, tied at wrist or ankle, tied at purse handle
Shape: narrow rectangle
Size: small to medium
4. Large Square Scarf.
Use: folded in half like a triangle and tied to be worn as a headcover, folded and tied to be worn as a headband, worn wrapped around the neck and/or over the shoulders, tied to be worn as a halter top, tied with another scarf of the same size to be worn as a poncho, tied at the waist to be worn as a sarong, folded and tied to be worn as a belt
Shape: square
Size: large to extra large
5. Triangular Scarf
Use: worn tied or wrapped at the neck, over the shoulders, tied to be worn as a headcover
Shape: triangle
Size: small to large
6. Blanket Scarf
Use: worn over the shoulders or wrapped around the upper body
Shape: rectangle
Size: extra large
7. Infinity Scarf
Use: worn at the neck
Shape: closed-loop formed by a narrow rectangle with connected ends
Size: short to long
A long infinity scarf is typically worn as a double-loop around the neck. A short infinity scarf (single loop) is called a cowl or collar. If it’s got a hood, it’s called a snood.
8. Boa Scarf
Use: worn wrapped around the neck
Shape: non-flat scarf type, individual strips are combined in a 360º design to make a long textured scarf
Size: large
If made of feathers it’s called a feather boa.
9. Manila Shawl
Use: folded in half like a triangle and worn over the shoulders
Shape: square
Size: large
Manila shawls are traditionally made of embroidered silk.
10. Pashmina
Use: worn wrapped around the neck, over the shoulders, or wrapped around the upper body
Shape: rectangle
Size: large to extra large
Pure Pashminas are wonderfully lightweight and super soft, handwoven, and made of 100% spun cashmere from the wool of Changthangi goats native to the Kashmir region. Regular Pashminas are just as lovely. They can be hand-woven or machine woven and are typically available as blends made of cashmere, wool, and silk.
11. Sarong
Use: worn tied at the waist
Shape: rectangle
Size: extra large
12. Knit Shawl
Use: worn over the shoulders
Shape: triangle
Size: medium
13. Stole
Use: worn over the shoulders
Shape: narrow rectangle
Size: medium to large
Stoles are traditionally made of expensive fabrics or fur but also fancy fabrics like velvet or imitation fur.
14. Wrap
Use: worn wrapped around the upper body
Shape: rectangle
Size: large to extra large
Part 3. The basic scarf materials and their inherent qualities of color, feel, and weight.
As we reviewed in Part 2, a scarf is technically any material, woven or knitted, that’s worn around the neck or head. Any scarf type can be found made of a variety of materials.
However, all scarf materials have inherent qualities that will be more or less pleasing to you. And it’s these inherent qualities that will determine why you like a scarf and when you choose to wear it.
You will like a scarf because of its color, feel, and weight. And those very same qualities will determine when you want to wear it. For example, light cotton scarves or open-weave crochet scarves are a great addition to your beach outfits in the summer. Fuzzy acrylic scarves are warm and cozy for winter. Sheer organza scarves would add the perfect touch to your party dress.
Before we look at the list of basic scarf materials, let’s review some important differences between synthetic and natural materials:
• When it comes to color, synthetic materials tend to resist fading more.
• Synthetic materials dry more quickly after washing and won’t shrink.
• Synthetic materials can be permanently pleated or texturized.
• Natural materials are breathable.
• Wool is a natural material that’s inherently flame retardant. It doesn’t need to be chemically treated like synthetics do. It’s got natural qualities that protect it from igniting. That’s because wool fibers are very thick and retain a lot of moisture making it difficult for wool to burn.
Fortunately, it’s possible to have the best qualities of both natural and synthetic materials. That’s where blends come in. Yay!
For example, you can have the colorfast quality of polyester and the breathable quality of silk blended together. Or you can have the lightweight quality of acrylics blended with wool to make for a less heavy scarf. Another example of a great blend would be combining the softness of cashmere with the colorfastness of acrylics. Or combining the breathability of cotton with the durability of polyester.
Yep, blends are a wonderful option except, of course, when you’re allergic.
If you’re allergic to a specific material, let’s take wool, for example, you’ll have to be a bit pickier about using a scarf made of blended materials. You may not tolerate even small amounts of wool in any given blend.
The bottom line is that you don’t want the scarf material to cause any skin irritation. It’s sad when a beautiful scarf can’t be worn because it’s just too darn itchy. So look for your favorite scarf type in a material that makes your skin happy.
BASIC SCARF MATERIALS:
• Silk, Satin, Polyester, Rayon (Viscose, Modal, Lyocell)
Feel: thin, soft, smooth
Weight: light
• Organza, Chiffon
Feel: thin, sheer, smooth
Weight: light
• Lace
Feel: thin, sheer
Weight: light
• Cotton, Linen
Feel: thin, soft
Weight: light
• Polyamide (Nylon), Elastane (Spandex or Lycra)
Feel: soft, lush, stretchy
Weight: medium
• Wool, Cashmere, Alpaca, Acrylic
Feel: thin, thick, furry, fuzzy, bulky, chunky, soft, textured, tight weave, open weave
Weight: light to heavy
• Velvet
Feel: thick, soft, lush
Weight: light to medium
• Imitation Fur
Feel: thick, furry, fuzzy, soft, lush
Weight: light to medium
Just so ya know, I won’t go into animal fur and feathers as scarf materials. There are so many beautiful alternative scarf materials that don’t harm animals that I can’t bring myself to advocate the use of fur and feathers.
Part 4. All the ways you can wear a scarf.
So far we’ve had a refresher on the different types of scarves in Part 2 and we’ve looked at some of the basic materials used for making them in Part 3. Let’s get into how we’d actually use them. Specifically, what part of the body do you want to adorn with a scarf?
This is where the fun begins. Because you can take a “large square scarf” and tie it at your waist and call it a “sarong.” Or you can take a “sarong” and wear it around your upper body and call it a “wrap.” Or maybe you prefer to fold it in half like a triangle and wear it over your shoulders like a “manila shawl.”
How you choose to wear it on your body defines the type of scarf it is.
The more you master the art of folding your scarf, the more versatility you’ll discover. Of course, how you can fold, wrap, and tie a scarf is limited by its size and shape.
BODY PARTS FOR WEARING SCARVES:
• Head
Worn as a headcover, the traditional way is to fold it in half like a triangle. It gets tied with a knot under your chin or at the nape of your neck. It usually can wrap around your neck at least once.
It can also be wrapped around your head and worn as a turban.
• Hair
The most practical scarf to wear in your hair is a skinny scarf. It gets tied with a knot at the nape of your neck to be worn as a headband. Or it can be tied in place over your hair like a crown. If you have longer hair, it can also be attached to your ponytail holder. Or it can be braided into your ponytail.
But you don’t need to buy a skinny scarf. Any scarf, especially if it’s made of thin material, can be folded into the right shape. The trick is to take the opposite corners of the scarf and fold them both in towards the center. After three or four folds, you’ll end up with a narrow length of scarf you can use as a headband.
• Neck
The classic scarf look for the neck is the neckerchief or small square scarf folded in half like a triangle. It gets tied with a knot to hold it in place. You can wear the knot in the front or on your shoulder for more pizzazz.
Having said that, most scarves are bigger and wrap around your neck more than once. The larger the scarf, the more ways you can wrap and tie it.
• Shoulders
Large scarves are usually worn over your shoulders. Depending on the size of the scarf, it may get wrapped around your neck as well. It can be worn loosely or tightly wrapped. It can be worn in a casual or formal style depending on the materials.
• Upper Body
An extra-large scarf or shawl can be worn as a wrap and cover your entire upper body. This way of wearing it is usually for warmth. It can be worn in a casual or formal style depending on the materials.
And an extra-large square scarf, especially if it’s made of thin material, can be worn as a halter top. Two corners get tied with a knot at the nape of the neck while the other two corners get tied behind the back.
If you’ve got two large square scarves of the same size, you can tie them together to make a poncho. The top two corners of one scarf get tied to the top two corners of the other scarf. Then you slip it on so that you’ve got your neck between the two knots you just made. Next, you’ll wanna tie the bottom corners together. You’ll end up with a knot on your right and left sides.
• Waist
An extra-large scarf or shawl can wrap and cover your lower body and be used as a sarong. It gets tied with a knot at your waist to hold it in place.
If a skinny scarf is long enough, it can be used as a belt. But any scarf, especially if it’s made of thin material, can be folded into the right shape and worn at your waist. The trick is to take the opposite corners of the scarf and fold them both in towards the center. After three or four folds, you’ll end up with a narrow length of scarf you can use as a belt.
• Wrist
The most practical scarf to wear wrapped around your wrist is a skinny scarf. The shorter and skinnier it is, the fewer times you’ll need to wrap it and the less bulk you’ll have. The same can be said for wearing a scarf wrapped around your ankle.
In the same way, you can use a skinny scarf as a purse accessory by wrapping it around a purse handle.
Part 5. When you’d wanna wear a scarf.
When it comes to how you choose to wear a scarf on your body, you’ll most likely be thinking of the occasion for your outfit.
So let’s think about four basic occasions when we typically like to wear scarves. Of course, you can wear any scarf you want for any occasion. But if we focus on the primary purpose behind these four occasions, then it’s not difficult to choose a few scarf types and materials that would work best.
Keep in mind what’s best for you will always depend on the materials that are most pleasing to you.
OCCASIONS FOR WEARING SCARVES:
• Formal
Purpose: dressing up
Best scarf type: Neckerchief, Long Scarf, Large Square Scarf, Boa Scarf, Manila Shawl, Pashmina, Stole
Best material: thin, soft, smooth, sheer, lush, thick, furry, fuzzy
- Silk, Satin, Polyester, Rayon (Viscose, Modal, Lyocell)
- Organza, Chiffon
- Lace
- Polyamide (Nylon), Elastane (Spandex or Lycra)
- Velvet
- Imitation Fur
• Casual
Purpose: practical styling
Best scarf type: Long Scarf, Large Square Scarf, Triangular Scarf, Infinity Scarf, Wrap
Best material: thin, soft, smooth, lush
- Silk, Satin, Polyester, Rayon (Viscose, Modal, Lyocell)
- Cotton, Linen
- Polyamide (Nylon), Elastane (Spandex or Lycra)
• Summer/Beach
Purpose: covering up with breathable fabrics
Best scarf type: Large Square Scarf, Triangular Scarf, Sarong
Best material: thin, soft, smooth
- Silk, Satin, Polyester, Rayon (Viscose, Modal, Lyocell)
- Cotton, Linen
• Winter
Purpose: covering up for warmth
Best scarf type: Long Scarf, Blanket Scarf, Infinity Scarf, Pashmina, Knit Shawl, Stole, Wrap
Best material: thin, thick, furry, fuzzy, bulky, chunky, soft, textured, tight weave, open weave
- Wool, Cashmere, Alpaca, Acrylic
- Imitation Fur
Part 6. How to choose the perfect scarf for color, warmth, and style.
When it comes to choosing the perfect scarf, you’ll first consider the materials that are pleasing to you. Then you’ll think about how and when you wanna use it. And lastly, you’ll think about your outfits and how you can wear and layer your scarves with your existing wardrobe.
CHOOSING A SCARF FOR COLOR:
When worn around the neck, the colors of your scarf bring attention upward to your face and highlight your eyes. You can draw attention to wherever you’re wearing your scarf like your head, hair, neck, or waist. And your scarf colors can also add play and contrast to whatever you’re wearing.
Here are three questions to ask yourself when choosing a scarf for color:
• Does the color flatter your face?
• Does the color match your existing wardrobe?
• Does the color make you happy? Does it boost your mood?
CHOOSING A SCARF FOR WARMTH:
We tend to think of winter scarves as being knitted, bulky, or heavy. However warm materials are no longer limited to wool and heavy fabrics. A heavy scarf is a personal preference and not a necessity for warmth. A big blanket scarf can be lighter than a knitted scarf depending on the material it’s made of.
So you’re not limited to heavier fabrics when it comes to wearing a scarf in winter. You may however be limited by your existing seasonal wardrobe for purely practical reasons. How you’re able to combine and layer your scarf with your existing winter wardrobe will determine what kind of scarf is best for you.
If your winter jacket or coat is fitted or has a high zipper, then any thick or chunky scarf would be too bulky to wear underneath. But a thin scarf or a cowl would work just fine.
If you typically wear a big winter coat with buttons, then you could wear a thick scarf underneath because you’d have more room.
Here are three questions to ask yourself when choosing a scarf for warmth:
• How do you wear and layer your scarves with your existing winter wardrobe? For example, would you combine a scarf by wearing it over or under your coat?
• Do you prefer wrapping yourself in thin layers or wearing chunky scarves?
• Are you allergic to a specific material like wool?
CHOOSING A SCARF FOR STYLE:
Scarves made of inherently thinner materials (silk, satin, polyester, rayon, cotton, linen) are the most versatile. These scarves typically come in various sizes.
The larger or longer the scarf, the more you can play with how you wear it around the neck, shoulders, head, or hair. If you have more than one scarf, you can get creative and play with tying or braiding several scarves together to make them longer.
The more you master the art of folding your scarf, the more versatility you’ll discover. And the more you experiment with how you wear it, the more you’ll extend your existing wardrobe.
Here are three questions to ask yourself when choosing a scarf for style:
• Which materials are most pleasing to you? (See Part 3)
• How do you think you’d wear it most? (See Part 4)
• When do you think you’d wear it? (See Part 5)
Part 7. Bonus tips and three scarves that will serve you all year round.
If you’re having a hard time deciding on what kind of scarves to get, here’s my Twinki-Winki tip for you.
If you only had these three scarves in your closet, you’d always have the right scarf for every season. And since all three scarves can be both formal and casual, you’ll always have the perfect scarf no matter where you’re going.
BONUS STYLE TIP:
Here's my Twinki-Winki list for three scarves for the perfect style.
1. Boa Scarf: Lush, Soft, and Fun
The perfect version of this kind of scarf is the Posh Me Fab Boa Scarf. As to be expected, I’ve added my star Twinki-Winki product to this list. That’s because I know exactly how versatile it is.
It’s a cheerful scarf that can dress up any outfit. And it’s lush due to its softness, weight, and 360° design. Its vibrant colors won’t fade. It's easy to take care of. And it has just the right drape so you can toss it on and never have to fuss. In other words, it meets all my requirements for the perfect fancy scarf that fits into my day-to-day.
But a Posh Me Fab boa scarf can’t be worn all year round nor can it be worn on your head or in your hair, which is why there are two more versatile scarves on this list.
2. Large Square Scarf: Smooth, Lightweight, and Versatile
This shape and size scarf is the most versatile when it comes to use. It can be worn on your head, in your hair, around your neck, over your shoulders, at your waist, as a sarong, as a halter top, etc. (See Part 4)
The top of the line is a silk scarf. Or you could look for a silk and polyester blend.
Go for a cheerful design with vibrant colors. You’ll want it multicolor so that it’s easy to mix and match with your existing wardrobe. It can dress up any look but it’s versatile enough to be worn with both formal and casual outfits. And The more you master the art of folding your scarf, the more versatility you’ll discover.
3. Long Scarf: Soft, Lightweight, and Warm
This is a versatile shawl, especially if it’s large. It gives lots of warmth without any added weight. It’s meant to be worn wrapped. You can wrap it around the neck, over the head, over the shoulders, or around the upper body. And it’s thin enough to be worn over or under a jacket or coat.
The top of the line is a Pashmina with its super soft and lightweight cashmere wool. Or you could look for a blend that includes some cashmere. If you’re allergic to wool, there are rayon alternatives, typically using viscose. These would be considered “pashmina-style wraps.” Both wools and synthetics are easy to take care of.
Go for a cheerful design with vibrant colors. You’ll want it multicolor so that it’s easy to mix and match with your existing wardrobe.
If you simply can’t deal with the bulk of a large shawl around your neck, opt for a short infinity scarf or cowl instead. Go for vibrant colors and make sure it’s made of high-quality soft material. You’ll want to be able to wear it with both formal and casual outfits. And if you're allergic to wool, I’ve seen beautiful cowls made of soft furry synthetics that would do the trick.
BONUS SHOPPING TIP:
Before you buy a scarf, ask yourself the following questions. They review everything we’ve covered in this guide. They’ll help you consider whether the scarf's materials are pleasing to you, how and when you’ll wanna use it, and how you can style it with your existing wardrobe.
• Is it made of a material that will irritate your skin?
• Does the color flatter your face?
• Does it fit your lifestyle?
• How will you wear and layer it? Can you use it in more than one way?
• Does it work with what’s in your closet?
• Is it easy to care for?
BONUS CARE TIP:
No matter what type of scarf you buy and what it’s made of, you’ll never go wrong taking extra care when washing your scarf. Follow these steps and your scarf will last you pretty much forever.
Depending on the material, you’ll either wanna hand wash in lukewarm water or use a delicate cycle in cold water. Always hang dry or lay flat. Never hang in direct sunlight. And do not wring or twist to remove water. If necessary, squeeze gently with a soft towel.
Conclusion.
A scarf is your style solution for every outfit and every season. There’s nothing like a scarf for color, warmth, and style. They help you switch things up, dress you up, keep you warm, and highlight your face. The three scarves that will serve you all year round are the boa scarf, the large square scarf, and the long scarf.
In this guide, you’ve learned how it’s way more practical to classify scarves by use, shape, and size. And how easy it is to play with adding scarves to your wardrobe. You’ve also learned about scarf materials and their inherent qualities of color, feel, and weight that will be more or less pleasing to you. And it’s these qualities that will determine why you like a scarf and when you choose to wear it.
Finally, by asking a few basic questions you’ll be sure to always find the perfect scarf for every season. For a great refresher on the large square scarf, check out Your Guide To The Perfect Scarf For All Your Style Needs. You’re gonna love it too.
When you order a Twinki-Winki product, it’s either made by me (boa scarves) or by our POD partner (all other products). This means that from the onset, the product you order is being made specifically for you. Keep reading to find out about the various production techniques used to make Twinki-Winki products and what they have to do with slow fashion.
HOW TWINKI-WINKI PRODUCTS GET MADE
• Made by hand:
Twinki-Winki boa scarves are hand-cut and sewn in Madrid, Spain, by yours truly. No two are exactly alike. And I only buy enough fabric to be able to make three or four scarves in each color combination. This way I don’t stock fabrics I don’t need.
I think of all my boa scarves as wearable art. Wearable, as in, designed to be easy to care for. And art, as in, made by hand in super limited quantities to bring you joy forever.
If you want a fabulous refresher on scarves, I’ve put together a scarf guide you’ll love. I call it The Ultimate Scarf Guide. Oh, yeah.
• Made by POD (print-on-demand):
Did you know that your Twinki-Winki order is made just for you? Yep, Twinki-Winki uses POD (print-on-demand) to make its totes, tees, backpacks, prints, mugs, pillows, towels, blankets, and laptop cases.
It doesn’t get made until it gets ordered.
Twinki-Winki works with a POD order fulfillment company with facilities worldwide. So depending on where you are, your orders are printed and shipped from the facility that can do it most efficiently.
POD avoids overproduction and textile waste. Yay! That means no leftover stock is thrown into landfills. And that’s a big plus when it comes to sustainability.
ABOUT POD PRODUCTION TECHNIQUES AND PACKAGING
• Sublimation printing:
Twinki-Winki totes, backpacks, mugs, pillows, towels, blankets, and laptop cases use sublimation printing to get all pretty. This happens with Mimaki printers. These printers use inkjet technology with dye-sublimation inks and transfer paper. First, the design is printed on a sheet of paper infused with sublimation ink. Then heat activates the ink so that it seeps deep into the material (fabric or ceramic). This ensures a consistent and vibrant all-over print that covers the whole product.
After the sublimation printing process, Twinki-Winki mugs, towels, blankets, and laptop cases are ready to be shipped out to you. As for Twinki-Winki totes, backpacks, and pillows, the printed fabric must first get hand-cut and then sewn together.
• Cut & sew technique:
Twinki-Winki tote bags, backpacks, and pillows are finished with the cut & sew technique. This means that after the graphics have been printed onto the fabric with the sublimation printing process (see above), the cutting takes place. The shape of the product is precision-cut and hand-sewn with industrial sewing machines. This gives the product a durable construction.
• HDR ink-jet technology:
Twinki-Winki art prints use Epson UltraChrome water-based HDR ink-jet technology. These inks have a low environmental impact. And Epson recycles their ink cartridges.
• Packaging:
Twinki-Winki totes, tees, backpacks, pillows, towels, blankets, and laptop cases are packaged by our POD order fulfillment company. Each item is packaged in its own polymer bag, which is then placed in a polymer mailer. The poly bags are are made of low-density polyethylene and are fully recyclable.
Twinki-Winki art prints and mugs are also packaged by our fulfillment partner. In this case, they use cardboard boxes. Art prints are rolled up and packaged in triangular boxes that avoid the use of plastic caps, and ensure safe delivery without any creases or damages. Each mug is packaged in its own tight-fitting box that keeps it secure in the center. Multiple mugs are combined in one cardboard box.
Now that you’ve read about various production techniques and what they have to do with slow fashion, let’s talk about attitude.
Attitude is about buying less often and with more purpose. This is a big part of what slow fashion is all about. And that’s why we often talk about slow fashion when we talk about sustainability.
Slow fashion connects environmental awareness and responsibility with the pleasure of wearing beautiful, well-made, and lasting clothing.
For example, you can choose quality over quantity. Quality items will cost more at first, but they will last longer and fit better. And quality accessories like scarves can help you switch things up. Thinking of new ways to style your wardrobe breathes new life into what you already have. Learning how to care for your quality items will make them last even longer.
Let Twinki-Winki fill your life with color, joy, smiles, style, and attitude.
If you’re curious about understanding sustainability and slow fashion in general, you can go to ABOUT SLOW FASHION to read some more.
Whenever we feel stuck, the trick is to use the action of creating momentum to our advantage. We can create momentum that carries us to new better-feeling thoughts.
Everything in life is a process. We can make big things happen in small steps. You can start today, wherever and however you are. Even just a little is enough. Every little bit counts.
Jump in. Get messy.
You’ll always mess up before you figure out where you’re going. Not only that, but all hell breaks loose as soon as you make up your mind to start. It never fails. But it’s only your way of self-sabotaging yourself because you’re out of your comfort zone.
Be okay with being uncomfortable.
Remember that the bad paintings need to be painted. No bad paintings, no breakthrough. No mess, no clarity. Things just get messy before they become clear. If you’re not messing up, you’re not taking any chances. And if you’re not taking any chances, you’re stuck.
Let things get messy. It’s the first step to getting unstuck.
Because with your very first step, you’re already moving in the direction of your desires. No matter how messy it feels, you’ve created momentum. Whoopee!
Go downstream. Move through.
Don’t complicate things. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Stop thinking you need to prove yourself. Stop paddling upstream. You don’t need to work harder to deserve what you want. You already deserve it.
Struggling or pushing ahead is always counterproductive.
Don’t be impatient either. Move through the process step by step. You can’t avoid the parts you dread. You can’t skip ahead. Impatience is simply another way we deal with being uncomfortable. We don’t like or understand what’s happening, so we force the results, only to find ourselves repeating our efforts over and over.
The only way off the hamster wheel is through.
Ask any artist, the joy is in the happy accidents and aha moments. But you’ll miss all those if you’re impatient. So catch yourself getting antsy and keep going ahead anyway. Enjoy the process, enjoy the journey. Let yourself go downstream. And be curious about everything you discover along the way.
The momentum you’re creating will take you where you need to go.
Remember it’s not about getting to a destination. Treat every single step you take as the first step. It’s about taking the leap to go ahead over and over again without any fixed idea of where you’ll end up.
It’s always now.
Your power to getting unstuck is always in the present moment. Your past thinking habits got you here. And your current thinking habits are creating your tomorrow.
Your focus creates and sets the direction of your momentum. Use this to your advantage.
Whatever you think about long enough has a snowball effect. So don’t focus on what’s driving you crazy. Focus on what’s feeling good. That way what you’re thinking about will snowball into more good-feeling thoughts, instead of more exasperating thoughts about all the things that drive you nuts.
And that’s your power. You get to choose what you think about.
Remember you’re already in the habit of creating momentum. The question is, in what direction is your momentum moving? Focus on what feels good.
It’s never done.
The process has two constants. It never ends and it’s always changing. With or without your approval. There’s no controlling change. We can either change with the change by being willing to try, or we can fight and resist it. We do have that choice. But the difference between feeling stuck or feeling ease is in our willingness to try.
If you can internalize your willingness to try, then you’ll never avoid your work again.
Trust in the process. Once you’ve got momentum, every step leads to the next step, even if it doesn’t look like what you were expecting. The creative process is an adventure. You can show up in spite of your fears of not knowing how or not understanding why things are working out for you.
Your source of avoidance is always your resistance to try.
Remember it’s never done. Your resistance to trying is only your fear of messing up. Making art is inherently about not being afraid of getting it wrong. It’s about trusting in the process so that whatever feels “wrong” is just the next step. And every step is always the first step.
You can’t get it wrong.
Perfection is a big fat lie and it will keep you stuck all your life. Perfectionism is a learned coping mechanism that keeps you safe and in your comfort zone. It may have served you well at some point in your life, but it will keep you from finishing projects and most importantly, from trying new things. It puts your joy on hold.
If you can accept that the creative process is never done, then you can rest assured that you can never get it wrong.
Consider the possibility that your future self has already figured out whatever is holding you back. So what you’re looking at is essentially something that you can’t get wrong and won't even remember in the future.
Yep, there’s a future version of you that’s already been there, done that.
Your future self is way better at everything you’re working on now. And quite frankly, a tad bit embarrassed by some of the stuff you’re coming up with. Just like you’re embarrassed by some of the stuff you did ten years ago, don’t ya know.
Truth is, you keep getting better as you go. So the idea of perfection is pretty much pointless.
Remember whatever you’re working on may turn out great or it may turn out awful and it doesn’t matter one bit. Not one little bit. Because it’s all inspired. It’s all part of the process of moving in the direction of your desires.
Anticipate joy.
There is no right or wrong way to make your artwork. There is no right or wrong way for you to be inspired. Have a grateful heart for what you’re creating. When you feel grateful and trust in the process, you’re in love with life.
And when you’re in love, you’re inspired.
When you’re inspired you feel purposeful. You don’t need to understand anything to feel inspired. You don’t need to search for any answers. You know your purpose is to make your art your way. You’re following your joy. You’re giving your joy by sharing yourself through your art. You’re thriving.
You’re in the process of making a beautiful life.
Remember life is supposed to be fun. Show up with a grateful heart and a curious mind. Let things get messy. Stop paddling upstream. Focus on what feels good. Be willing to try. And keep in mind that you keep getting better as you go.
When making art, it’s never about what you’re creating, but how you’re creating it. The same goes for life.
me so wanni twinki-winki
me so happi twinki-winki
me so butiful
you so butiful
While writing a book, I decided on the name for my brand. There I was writing the chapter where the kids in my story have this pivotal moment. Ya see it’s when they get all happy and sing the “Twinki-Winki” song together. And that’s when I realized that this moment was the whole point of my book. Yeah, that’s when the sparks went off.
In the story, the song is first sung by Pika, a little circus bird with big dreams. And because Pika speaks in funny broken English, instead of saying “I want to twinkle,” she says “me so wanni twinki-winki.” So it’s her way of saying that she wants to shine like a star. And this was the spark for my brand.
Twinki-Winki is all about giving yourself permission to shine.
When was the last time you answered this question? And did it take a little introspection or did you rattle off a long list of desires? For those of us who draw a blank, have we stopped dreaming? Do we not want anything?
Do we not know how to dream anymore?
Maybe what’s going on is that somewhere along the way we’ve decided it’s easier to not have big dreams. Because that way you won’t get crushed by the disappointment if your dream doesn’t come true.
Or maybe what’s happening is that we don’t allow ourselves to dream anymore because what we want seems so out of reach and impossible. We’ve decided that it’s not for us to have.
What we desire is to live authentically with the fullness of who we are. And that includes all the abundance we desire for our lives. Whatever it is we need to thrive is part of us living authentically.
In other words, if Life is about figuring out how to show up as the truest version of ourselves, then our desires lead the way. They guide us. We need to desire.
Not letting ourselves dream big is how we hide.
You’re not here on this planet to hide under a rock. You already are who you were born to be. But you’ve gotta let yourself thrive.
You’re here to dream big, act big, and love big. Anything you can think about that gives you a feeling of expansion is a step in the right direction.
What do we really want?
What we all want is to shine.
What we want is to twinki-winki. Posh me fabulous with sprinkles on top. You were born to be fab. Amen.
And on that note, here's the Twinki-Winki song for ya:
Thank goodness we graduate from one-sided delusional crushes to reciprocated love. And we get to experience the most beautiful thing there is: how to love and be loved in return. I think there may be a song or two about that.
Actually, there’s another kind of love we experience when we’re young before we ever start dating anyone. It’s the love we feel for our besties. When we’re teens it’s like our lives would make no sense without our best friends. We talk to them incessantly. About EVERYTHING. While we barely speak two words to our parents.
Yep, that “besties love” is unique to a time in our lives when everything feels upside down.
Falling in love is something we're made to do.
It’s in our DNA. It makes us feel totally invincible and totally vulnerable all at the same time. As in, we think we can do anything in spite of being scared out of our minds. In other words, we’re completely and utterly inspired.
And feeling inspired is essential to our happiness.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that we go through life loving others as a kind of practice. We’re learning to not only love and be loved by others, but also to love being alive. To love Life.
When we can be in love with Life, we can live inspired lives.
And loving life starts with being your own best friend.
My Twinki-Winki mission is to inspire you to be your own bestie. And we all know how we treat our besties, right? I mean, we already know how to be there for them. What we gotta learn is how to be there for ourselves. We gotta find joy in our day-to-day. And that may take a little attitude adjusting, because you need to believe that:
You're already worthy of all you desire.
Thinking you don’t deserve the good you desire is what keeps you from getting it.
We’ve all grown up believing that our success depends on us being better and doing more. Well, how’s that going for ya? Because in my case, it’s got me dealing with chronic tension. As in pain in my shoulders for as long as I can remember. But things are getting better because I’ve finally accepted that my success and happiness don’t depend on me doing more. It’s such a relief.
I’ve realized that my success and happiness depend on me feeling good about myself. Trying to always do more means I don’t feel I deserve to feel good right now. I’ve gotta work for it to deserve it, if ya know what I mean.
But there will never come a time that I’ll feel good enough if that’s the broken record playing in my head. And where’s the joy in that?
Here’s the joy in Twinki-Winki:
Joy is knowing that dressing fab can fit into your machine-washable-life. That’s why Twinki-Winki products are a pleasure to wear, easy to care for, and long-lasting.
I launched Twinki-Winki to create a brand of wearable art and feel-good fashion accessories that encourages inspired rebel living. That’s the philosophy behind all Twinki-Winki products. The goal is to bring ease into your day-to-day so you can feel fab whenever you want.
And my star products are the Posh Me Fab boa scarves. They’re made to be worn and they’re made to be art. A beautiful scarf is the fastest way to add color, glamour, and joy to any look.
Twinki-Winki Life mottos support your attitude of living with joy.
Life motto number 1: Life is a come-as-you-are party.
And your only job is to feel good. But for that you’ve gotta accept that you always deserve to feel good. You’ve gotta feel worthy enough to allow yourself to feel good.
Life motto number 2: Fill your life with art and the joy will follow.
Find art that makes you feel good to be you. Let it delight your senses and lift your spirit. And then milk it for all it’s worth. Because art is the stuff that makes you feel grateful to be alive. And that's what joy is all about.
“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”
- Coco Chanel
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For boa scarves go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/boa-scarves
“Fashion is the armor to survive everyday life.”
- Bill Cunningham
Twinki-Winki is no-fuss fabulous.
I launched Twinki-Winki to create a brand of wearable art and feel-good fashion accessories that encourages inspired rebel living. That’s the philosophy behind all Twinki-Winki products. The goal is to bring ease into your day-to-day so you can feel fab whenever you want.
And my star products are the Posh Me Fab boa scarves. They’re made to be worn and they’re made to be art. A beautiful scarf is the fastest way to add color, glamour, and joy to any look.
“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.”
- Oscar Wilde
Be your own rainbow with boa scarves!
They help you switch things up, dress you up, keep you warm, and highlight your face.
Like this:
• Use a boa scarf to breathe new life into what you’ve already got in your closet. Like your favorite black top and pants. Throw on a colorful boa scarf and your outfit just got a whole new vibe.
• Use a boa scarf to highlight your face. That messy bun hairdo, a little mascara, lip gloss, and your boa scarf is all you need. It’s your 5-minute glam routine.
• Use a boa scarf to dress up any casual outfit. Yep, with a boa scarf, your work-from-home style just got a serious upgrade. Bye-bye desk potato! Hello fabulous!
• Use a boa scarf to keep you warm. Imagine that! A fashionable scarf that completes your look, glams you up, and actually keeps you warm.
“Playing dress-up begins at age five and truly never ends.”
- Kate Spade
But don’t just throw on a Posh Me Fab boa to rock your outfit. Do it to lift your mood no matter what you’re wearing or where you’re going.
Dressing up is a glorious way to self-express and influence your psyche.
If you want a fabulous refresher on scarves, I’ve put together a scarf guide you’ll love. I call it The Ultimate Scarf Guide. Oh, yeah.
Permission to feel fabulous. Granted. As in, heck yeah.
Imagine being so posh that you’re wearing a fashion boa at the grocery store. There you are sniffing the pineapples to see if they’re ripe. There you go on your merry way to the freezer aisle. Heads turn. You’re the poster child for fabulous. You know life is too short to not dress up whenever you darn well please. And you’ve got a boa that does double-duty as a scarf. It’s the oomph in your stride. No feathers, no crooning, no pole dancing required. Just you and your attitude sashaying off into the supermarket sunset.
My Twinki-Winki mission is to inspire you to be your own bestie. Find art that delights your senses and lifts your spirit. And then milk it for all it’s worth.
So that when the inevitable happens and you have one of those my-life-sucks days, well, you can still be happy to be you. As in, alive and kicking, here and now.
Your only job is to feel good.
And when it seems impossible to feel good, just move. We can walk, jump, dance, sing, stretch, play. Moving our bodies feels good. And in turn, feeling good helps us focus on more feel-good thoughts.
Another helpful activity is to write yourself a letter. Uh-huh. Project yourself into the future and write yourself a letter full of heartfelt advice about all the things that have mattered most to you. That kind of introspection will do wonders for confirming what you already know to be true about who you are and what you want from your one precious life.
“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.”
- Orson Welles
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For boa scarves go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/boa-scarves
For throw pillows go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/accent-pillows
For coffee mugs go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/coffee-mugs
Once upon a time, there was a goat with superhero tendencies named Luca.
Luca can eat anything, head-butt anyone, and make the best stupid-faces. Brutally honest and loyal to a fault, spending time with Stinky, Fifi, Elio, and Otto is the most important thing in the world to her. She just can’t imagine life without her best friends.
When one night Otto disappears, Luca and the gang have to deal with feeling helpless. Luca’s whole world starts to unravel as she watches her friends drift apart. Flooded by doubts and insecurities, they begin behaving in ways that she doesn’t understand. When her friends start listening to the grown-ups around them instead of her, she decides she’s had enough. She strikes out on her own to get Otto back and set things right again. What Luca figures out in the process is that her real superpower is her love, and that the only thing her happiness depends on is how much Luca likes being Luca.
“Super Luca’s Glorious Twinki-Winki Adventure” is the story behind my brand name.
Yep, while writing a book, I decided on the name for my brand. That’s the creative process at work, don’t ya know. There I was writing the chapter where the kids in my story have this pivotal moment. Ya see it’s when they get all happy and sing the “Twinki-Winki” song together. And that’s when I realized that this moment was the whole point of my book. Yeah, that’s when the sparks went off. Because for the kids in my story, to “twinki-winki” means to shine like a star.
Twinki-Winki is all about giving yourself permission to shine.
I also realized that my story, my reason for creating art, and my purpose here are all one. It’s nothing more and nothing less than to start a Twinki-Winki revolution. Ha!
And the revolution starts here with me telling you that:
You are somebody.
And only you know who that is. And only you can show the world how to love you by loving yourself.
You can’t control what others think of you. You can only control what you think of yourself. And who you are is constantly evolving. It’s a good exercise to sit down and think about who you are and what you want.
Because you can’t like yourself if you don’t know yourself.
“Develop a relationship with yourself before any other selves. You are the key and door to you. Nobody else can rescue you if you don’t do it first. Don’t tell them how to love you, show them. And in the process fall in love with you.”
- Andrea Balt
Twinki-Winki products in this post:
For art prints go here: https://twinkiwinki.com/collections/wall-art
Yep, Twinki-Winki is about giving joy, self-love inspo, and belonging.
And I just happen to be an artist, a teacher, and a fashion misfit. So there ya go. If I were a plumber, we'd surely meet under different circumstances. But the conversations would still be the same.
Because no matter what we do to make a living, we’re all telling the story of our worthiness.
My story includes building a brand that stands for what I believe in. Like this:
SEND LOVE = Being kind and courageous
GIVE JOY = Sharing my art
INSPIRE = Cultivating inner strength, living an art-filled life
HELP = Giving direction, confidence, and permission
HAVE FUN = Playing and learning, enjoying the process
KICK BUTT = Being true to myself
As headstrong as I am, I've gone through long stretches of not believing in myself and thinking I wasn't good enough. And telling myself that I wasn’t trying hard enough. If only I could do more, right? But thinking that way only made me feel small. After much banging my head against the wall, I’ve concluded that you can’t achieve anything that will bring you joy by hiding and feeling bad about yourself. Ever.
You are not here on this planet to hide under a rock.
You already are who you were born to be.
And Twinki-Winki wants you to feel loved, appreciated, inspired, happy, and fabulous.
Think of it as brainwashing for the soul:
if it’s true
each of us
holds up
a mirror
for others
to see themselves
but we spend
most of our lives
unable
to recognize ourselves
then
my life’s purpose
has never seemed so clear:
I wish to be
the mirror
in which you can see
how truly beautiful
you are
Feeling good enough to like yourself requires a whole lot of honesty, compassion, and guts. That’s where you gotta learn to accept all of yourself. The light and the dark qualities within you.
Belonging to all of yourself is the key to belonging to the world.
We go through the world with our strengths and our flaws. It’s all part of being human. And the more love you show yourself, the more love you’ll have to share with others. It’s just that simple.
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
- Howard Thurman