“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert
Tired of my own bullshit.
What if an introverted kid who spends her childhood making art alone in her room and secretly wishing she had superpowers grows up to become a headstrong artist and designer with lofty dreams. Only to find herself forever stuck in a teeny apartment plagued by perfectionism and nightmares. That is, until the day she discovers that her sassy misfit attitude is a superpower for getting herself unstuck and inspiring others to do the same.
Yep, this is my story. My sassy misfit attitude kicked in when I got tired of my own bullshit.
Namely, I got tired of not letting myself dream big.
Even though I’ve achieved plenty of things I’m super proud of, somewhere along the way I decided playing small was easier than having big dreams. And ya know where that got me? Stuck in a teeny-weeny apartment, that's where.
Turns out the Universe has a wicked sense of humor. My surroundings shrunk to match my desires. The good news is I’ve figured out that perfection is a big fat lie. Yeah, I’ve become aware of how perfectionism has kept my joy on hold. Pretty much all my life. Yikes.
And now I’m learning to let myself dream big again.
The fact that you’re even reading this is proof that I’m stepping into my truth. Because Twinki-Winki is the next level of my big self.
Ya see I’ve combined all my loves into Twinki-Winki - my art, design, fashion, and writing.
And by doing so, I’m finally giving myself permission to shine. Like this:
• Learning to overcome my perfectionism and fears about not being good enough.
• Reminding myself about how much I love having fun with fashion, and how expressing my personal style on the outside makes me feel braver on the inside.
• Figuring out how I feel about the world through storytelling and writing.
Right about the time I turned fifty, I came across a quote that blew my mind. It said, The life you want wants you. It got me thinking about my desires as messages from my future self.
Being a rebel hasn’t always been easy for me. Truth is, sometimes it feels like I’m hell-bent on complicating my life. Which is so not what I want. That’s why I started identifying with my future self. I know she’s thriving because she’s figured out how to allow ease into her life. And I’m in the process of becoming her.
But how do I get there from here? How do I go from stuck to unstuck?
Well, for starters, I’ve gotta be kind to myself long enough to let myself dream big. That’s where my sassy misfit attitude comes in, don’t ya know.
Hello, my name is Alex and I’m a recovering perfectionist. I live in a sparkly pink castle the size of a shoebox. And I’m in the process of making a beautiful life by getting my butt seriously unstuck. Uh-huh. Because I’ve got me a philosophy. No lie.
Welcome to my Twinki-Winki world where a rebel can give life advice and a fashion misfit can give style tips. Oh, yeah.
My philosophy is all about getting unstuck and I like to call it inspired rebel living because that makes it sound all swanky. But honestly, it's pretty darn simple. It’s equal parts attitude, love of process, and satisfaction. And it goes like this:
The more you like being you, the more you thrive.
Yep, that’s the core belief. The more you like being you, the more you thrive. Thriving is all about feeling ease. It’s about how satisfied we feel when we’re moving in the direction of our desires.
When we’re feeling stuck and frustrated about our lives, that’s a clear indication we’re not thriving. But you don’t need me to tell you that, do ya? Nope. We all know how awful it is to feel small when there’s a deep yearning inside of us to dream big, act big, and love big.
That’s where inspired rebel living comes in.
The goal is to bring ease into our day-to-day. And as strange as it may sound, ease is not something we can achieve. It’s something we need to allow into our lives.
Okay, so let’s get going. Getting our butts unstuck has five parts:
Part 1. The more you like being you, the better you feel.
Part 2. The better you feel, the more you belong to yourself.
Part 3. The more you belong to yourself, the bigger you live.
Part 4. The bigger you live, the more you allow.
Part 5. The more ease you allow into your life, the more you thrive.
Getting unstuck and living the life you want begins with liking yourself:
1. The more you like being you, the better you feel.
How: Express your creativity.
Your happiness depends on how much you like yourself. Because when you like yourself, you can’t help but express your creativity. And that kind of freedom to express yourself feels really good.
But feeling good enough to like yourself requires a whole lot of honesty, compassion, and guts. You’ve got to learn to accept all of yourself, the light as well as the dark. Belonging to all of yourself is the key to belonging to the world.
Expressing your creativity is an act of self-love.
Today you like being you.
There is no right or wrong way for you to be you. We all go through life with our strengths and flaws. It’s all part of being human. And the more love you show yourself, the more love you’ll have to share with others. It’s just that simple.
Here's The Twinki-Winki Manifesto. Read that puppy out loud, why don't ya!
And you can download the following worksheets from the Twinki-Winki GOODIES page:
• Freebie PDF worksheet ALL OF ME, about embracing duality
• Freebie PDF worksheet I AM, about getting to know yourself
• Freebie PDF worksheet LETTER TO SELF, about making the most of our lives
More reading for you here:
• All Of Me, All Of You blog post
• Super Luca And Your Real Superpower blog post
• Be Your Own Rainbow blog post
• Go Ahead And Be A Monster But Don’t Forget To Smile blog post
2. The better you feel, the more you belong to yourself.
How: Treat yourself with kindness.
Belonging to yourself means treating yourself with kindness. Loving life starts with being your own best friend.
Yeah, you gotta do stuff like forgive yourself for messing up. Let go when you feel stuck. Cheer yourself on when nobody else does. And treat yourself with kindness. Keeping yourself good company might very well be the hardest thing you’ll ever learn to do.
Be your own bestie.
We go through life loving others as a kind of practice. We’re learning to not only love and be loved by others but also to love being alive. To love life.
When we can be in love with life, we can live inspired lives. And feeling inspired is essential to our happiness.
You can download the following worksheet from the Twinki-Winki GOODIES page:
• Freebie PDF worksheet BESTIES FOREVER, about acting like your own best friend every day
More reading for you here:
• Loving Life blog post
3. The more you belong to yourself, the bigger you live.
How: Be intentional about who you’re becoming.
Living big means owning your desires and living your values. It means being intentional about who you’re becoming. And that’s what thriving is all about.
Your desires are what you want and who you want to be.
Your values are how you want to show up for yourself and others.
Thinking about what you want does not mean you're not already whole and complete. You‘re not looking to fix something that’s broken. By getting clarity about what you want, you’re allowing yourself to live big.
Fabulous is as fabulous does.
Our desires always lead the way. All those things we want, we only want them because it’s fun to be on our way to them. It’s the process of becoming that thrills us. It’s what makes us feel grateful to be alive.
Living big is how we thrive. Living small is how we hide.
More reading for you here:
• Owning Our Desires blog post
• My Colors Inside blog post
4. The bigger you live, the more you allow.
How: Be in love with the process of making a beautiful life.
You're in the process of making a beautiful life. And just like art-making, life-making is a creative process you can learn to trust.
Remember life is supposed to be fun. Show up with a grateful heart and a curious mind. Let things get messy. Stop paddling upstream. Focus on what feels good. Be willing to try. And keep in mind that you keep getting better as you go.
When you can trust in life, you can allow yourself to receive more and more of the good you desire.
Create momentum in the direction of your desires.
Whenever we feel stuck, the trick is to use the action of creating momentum to our advantage. We can create momentum that carries us to new better-feeling thoughts.
Read more on the Creating Momentum For Getting Unstuck blog post. And I’m pretty darn sure you’ll love the Creating Momentum guide (PDF) I created as a companion to that post!
For the last twenty-plus years I’ve been following my joy as an artist. And now I’ve condensed all those years of art-making-wisdom into a simple yet powerful guide. Seriously. It’s taken me forever. But it turned out pretty darn groovy. Smile.
Sign up for Twinki-mail and get your very own 40-page beautifully illustrated Creating Momentum guide. It’s free. No spam. Yay! I twinkle for Twinki-mail!
5. The more ease you allow into your life, the more you thrive.
How: Let go of valuing difficulty as a measure of your worthiness.
The joy of getting older is an eagerness for ease in your life. Satisfaction is the goal.
Satisfaction means a lot of different things to different people. But for everyone it's the opposite of feeling frustrated and stuck.
Satisfaction feels natural, joyful, and exciting:
• it feels natural like following your impulses
• it feels joyful like what you’re doing matters
• it feels exciting like you’re ready for anything
The life you want wants you. Let it be easy.
Allowing for more ease begins with letting go of valuing difficulty as a measure of our worthiness. Accepting that we don’t need to bust our butts to prove our worthiness, frees up a lot of energy. What’s required is not the discipline to work harder but the discipline to remember what we want.
You can download the following checklist from the Twinki-Winki GOODIES page:
• Freebie PDF checklist PRACTICE HAPPY, about doing little things that feel good every day