“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert
Tired of my own bullshit.
What if an introverted kid who spends her childhood making art alone in her room and secretly wishing she had superpowers grows up to become a headstrong artist and designer with lofty dreams. Only to find herself forever stuck in a teeny apartment plagued by perfectionism and nightmares.
Uh-huh, that would be yours truly.
That is, until the day I discovered that my sassy misfit attitude is a superpower for getting myself unstuck and inspiring others to do the same.
Yep, this is my story. My sassy misfit attitude kicked in when I got tired of my own bullshit.
I got tired of not letting myself dream big.
Even though I’ve achieved plenty of things I’m super proud of, somewhere along the way I decided playing small was easier than having big dreams.
And ya know where that got me? Stuck in a teeny-weeny apartment, that's where.
Turns out the Universe has a wicked sense of humor. My surroundings shrunk to match my desires.
The good news is I’ve figured out that perfection is a big fat lie. Yeah, I’ve become aware of how perfectionism has kept my joy on hold. Pretty much all my life. Yikes.
And now I’m learning to let myself dream big again.
The fact that you’re even reading this is proof that I’m getting unstuck and stepping into my truth. Because Twinki-Winki is the next level of my big self.
Ya see I’ve combined all my loves into Twinki-Winki - my art, design, fashion, and teaching. And by doing so, I’m finally giving myself permission to shine. Like this:
• Learning to overcome my perfectionism and fears about not being good enough.
• Reminding myself about how much I love having fun with fashion, and how expressing my personal style on the outside makes me feel braver on the inside.
• Figuring out how I feel about the world through storytelling and writing.
• Teaching about the creative process of art-making and inspired living.
Our deepest fear.
If dreaming big is how we thrive, then living small is how we hide. So the million-dollar question is:
What keeps us living small in the first place?
And if you say we’re afraid to mess up and feel stupid, that’s not the real reason. And if you say we’re worried about disappointing others, that’s not it either. And if you say we’re not smart enough or wealthy enough or don’t have friends in high places.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Those are the narratives we’ve invented to justify our fears. But they’re not the cause.
So what keeps us living small in the first place?
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
But how do we go from living small to living large?
Well, let’s start by defining what it means to thrive:
Thriving is all about feeling ease. It’s the opposite of living small. And it’s the opposite of feeling like there’s never enough time. Like you need to push your way through life. Because ease feels big and lofty like anything is possible.
In other words, when you’re feeling stuck and frustrated about your life, that’s a clear indication you’re not thriving. But you don’t need me to tell you that, do ya?
We all know how awful it is to feel small when there’s a deep yearning inside of you to dream big, act big, and love big.
And that’s where my sassy misfit attitude comes in, don’t ya know.
Here’s my philosophy:
The more you like being you, the more you thrive.
1. Express your creativity.
Your happiness depends on how much you like yourself. Because when you like yourself, you can’t help but express your creativity. And that kind of freedom to express yourself feels really good.
But feeling good enough to like yourself requires a whole lot of honesty, compassion, and guts. You’ve got to learn to accept all of yourself, the light as well as the dark. Belonging to all of yourself means treating yourself with kindness. And the more you like being you, the better you feel.
And so, expressing your creativity is truly an act of self-love.
Today you like being you.
There is no right or wrong way for you to be you. We all go through life with our strengths and flaws. It’s all part of being human. And the more love you show yourself, the more love you’ll have to share with others. It’s just that simple.
Here's The Twinki-Winki Manifesto. Read that puppy out loud, why don't ya!
2. Treat yourself with kindness.
Loving life starts with being your own best friend.
Yeah, you gotta do stuff like forgive yourself for messing up. Let go when you feel stuck. Cheer yourself on when nobody else does. And treat yourself with kindness. Keeping yourself good company might very well be the hardest thing you’ll ever learn to do.
Be your own bestie.
We go through life loving others as a kind of practice. We’re learning to not only love and be loved by others but also to love being alive. To love life.
When we can be in love with life, we can live inspired lives. And feeling inspired is essential to our happiness.
Check this out:
I’ve created a fun little worksheet about things you can do to be your own best friend every day. And it’s all yours for subscribing to my mailing list!
Learn more about the Besties Forever worksheet and check out the other freebies!
3. Be intentional about who you’re becoming.
Thriving is about owning your desires and living your values. Thriving is about living large.
Your desires are what you want and who you want to be.
Your values are how you want to show up for yourself and others.
In other words, thriving means focusing your attention on who you want to become in the process of getting what you want. And it’s our big desires that always lead the way.
Fabulous is as fabulous does.
All those things we want, we only want them because it’s fun to be on our way to them. It’s the process of becoming that thrills us. It’s what makes us feel grateful to be alive.
You’re in the process of making a beautiful life. This is your personal journey of becoming.
4. Be in love with the process.
Everyone has an inkling, a glimmer, of who they really are deep down inside. It’s the way you feel about yourself when you’re doing something that feels so right that you know you were born to do it right now, just the way you are.
That glimmer of purpose is everything.
And it always happens when you’re expressing your creativity. To bring more creativity into your life, you don’t need to become a more creative person. You only need to give yourself permission to play.
You’re never stuck if you can play.
You can be creative in whatever way brings you joy.
Whenever we feel stuck, the trick is to jump in and play. Because once you start, your momentum does the rest.
Try this motto on for size:
There’s always a way. It’s my time to play. What can I do, just for today?
If you’re looking for ways to have fun with your creative side, I’d love to help you.
Click here to learn more about my online workshops on the course offerings page.
5. Let go of valuing difficulty as a measure of your worthiness.
We’ve seen that what you desire is based on who you want to become. And that thriving is all about feeling ease.
In comparison, all the things you think you should be doing to earn your worth is based on how you value difficulty as a measure of your worthiness.
You believe you need to bust your butt and prove yourself to be worthy of what you want. Without realizing it, you’re valuing difficulty as a measure of your deservedness. All the while, completely ignoring the fact that you’re already worthy.
The life you want wants you. Let it be easy.
Yep, accepting that you don’t need to bust your butt to prove your worthiness, frees up a lot of energy.
What’s required is not the discipline to work harder. What’s required is the discipline to remember what you want and to allow yourself to receive your good.
Conclusion:
Okay, so here are 5 ideas for getting your butt unstuck:
1. Express your creativity: Today you like being you.
2. Treat yourself with kindness: Be your own bestie.
3. Be intentional about who you’re becoming: Fabulous is as fabulous does.
4. Be in love with the process: You’re never stuck if you can play.
5. Let go of valuing difficulty as a measure of your worthiness: The life you want wants you. Let it be easy.
Getting unstuck and living the life you want begins with liking yourself.