In the past, I used to have such clear ambitions. These days, it seems like I’ve gone from having clearly defined goals for my future to only having a vague sense of direction. So I wonder, have I lost something along the way?
Your glimmer of purpose.
Everyone has an inkling, a glimmer, of who they really are deep down inside. It’s the way you feel about yourself when you’re doing something that feels so right that you know you were born to do it right now, just the way you are.
That glimmer of purpose is everything.
You’d think we’d hold on to it for dear life. But no. It’s so surprisingly easy to forget. Which is truly insane. The one thing that makes us wanna open ourselves up and live out loud, well, it’s the very same thing that we forget lickety-split in the day-to-day survival of our ordinary lives.
And life keeps on keeping on with or without us. And then one day you’re fifty. Just like that. Uh-huh.
When I was in my twenties and thirties, if people asked me what I was working on, I’d talk their ears off. I was always hyper-excited about my art and I was hungry for validation. I felt I needed to justify myself. I had a deep need to prove I could make it as an artist.
I’m not like that anymore. What's changed is that I now trust in that feeling that tells me what I’m doing is what I’m meant to do. There’s nothing to prove.
Discipline is not what you think it is.
I recently read a book called Easier by Chris Westfall. There were so many "aha" moments while reading this story that I was grinning from ear to ear. Like when he says that discipline isn’t based on willpower.
Chris tells us discipline is simply remembering what you want. Whoa!
Could it be possible that holding on to that glimmer of purpose is the only thing we should be worried about? I mean, could it be as simple as using our willpower to focus on what we want. Instead of on what we think we need to be doing to get what we want?
Because there is a huge difference between the two.
What we want for ourselves is based on our values and desires. In comparison, what we think we should be doing to get what we want is based on how we value difficulty as a measure of our worthiness.
In other words, we think we need to bust our butts and prove ourselves to be worthy of what we want.
And that’s why we feel stuck. Our thinking is flawed from the get-go.
Discipline is about living your values. Accepting this new take on discipline won’t make life easy. But it will make life easier.
The more ease you allow into your life, the more you thrive.
Sometimes I miss all that energy and enthusiasm I had to prove myself to the world. It’s what makes me wonder if I’ve lost something along my way here. But this year I’m realizing there’s simply been a shift. The enthusiasm to prove myself has shifted to an eagerness for ease in my life.
The life you want wants you. Let it be easy.
Back to the book Easier by Chris Westfall, he drops another wisdom bomb on us with his idea of what it means to have a lazy attitude. According to Chris, it’s good to be actively lazy.
I bet nobody is telling you to be lazy. Didn’t think so.
Being actively lazy means focusing on whatever makes you happy at that moment and then moving from activity to activity naturally like you would on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
What’s more satisfying than spending your day completely absorbed by what you’re doing because it’s FUN… and then feeling productive to boot?
What satisfaction feels like.
Satisfaction means a lot of different things to different people. But one thing’s for sure, satisfaction is the opposite of feeling frustrated and stuck.
Satisfaction feels natural, joyful, and exciting. Think of how you move through a lazy Sunday afternoon:
• Satisfaction feels natural like following your impulses
• Satisfaction feels joyful like what you’re doing matters
• Satisfaction feels exciting like you’re ready for anything
Satisfaction is stepping into your life like a lazy Sunday afternoon.
The joy of getting older.
Maybe what happens is that as we get older, we get more comfortable with the truth that we don’t know diddly-squat about where we’re going, no matter how hard we try to plan and navigate our way through life. We’ve learned that everything always ends up changing. And that it’s okay anyway. Plans are only guideposts, reminders, flags, markers. They keep us moving in the right direction. After a while, you won’t need them anymore. You’ll know which way to go intuitively.
These days, it seems like I’ve gone from having clearly defined goals for my future to only having a vague sense of direction. Turns out that's a good thing. I guess I do have something to show for getting older. Smile.
I’ve figured out what satisfaction feels like.
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