Artist Life
Fresh starts.
My family moved around a lot when I was young. I spent my early childhood in Germany, my middle school years in the US, and my high school years back in Germany. While my parents worried about packing up our lives in boxes, I got really good at daydreaming about my future.
It kinda made me fearless in a lot of ways. Focusing on the future was my coping mechanism for dealing with all the sad and scary thoughts about moving.
And it might explain why I have ants in my pants about forging ahead and finding my place in the world. One thing’s for sure, I’m a firm believer in following your curiosity.
Sassy misfit attitude.
What I soon learned was that after the excitement of being able to start over, came the discovery that by default I was cast as the new kid at school.
And being the new kid means you sometimes draw attention you don’t want. Because you talk funny, look different, dress weird, eat strange things - you get the idea.
The good news? I got comfortable with being a misfit.
Being a misfit doesn’t mean being indifferent. It means being comfortable with being different for the sake of your own values. In other words, for the sake of feeling comfortable in your own skin.
For me, that means the freedom to express my creativity. And this desire has guided me my entire life. It’s how I show up in the world.
Deep dives.
Over the years, I've worked in just about every medium imaginable. From paintings, wood sculptures, soft sculptures, watercolor drawings, monster puppets, to murals, and everything in between.
I've had big studios and shoebox apartments. I've worked full-time making art and juggled multiple side jobs. I've shown in galleries and quit them all in a rage. I've been stuck, and I've gotten my butt unstuck more times than I can count.
My life has been full of fresh starts, deep dives, and misfit adventures. Looking back, I can see that the magical thread weaving through it all is my ability to embrace play despite my perfectionism.
Sparked by childhood.
This brings me to the fact that I’m obsessed with investigating my creative fingerprint. It all started with a conversation I heard on a podcast between Matthew Jacobs and Nancy Norbeck.
Matthew has this little exercise you can do to figure out what he calls your fingerprint question.
He's had an amazing career as a writer and works with creatives, and over the years he’s come to the conclusion that everything you create is always in response to your fingerprint question.
In other words, there’s this spark, this question, that drives your creative expression throughout your life. And all the different things you create are simply all the different ways of saying the same thing in response to this spark inside you.
Now I can’t stop digging through my artwork archives. It’s astonishing to me how my childhood loves show up over and over and over again in my creations. My whole body of work is clearly sparked by my childhood.
So if you’re curious about your own fingerprint question, keep reading for Matthew’s exercise.
Finding your fingerprint question:
Step 1. Name the first 2 movies you loved as a child.
Don't worry about how much time passed between the two. Focus on the impact they had on you. So maybe the first was at age 4 and the second at age 12, for example, and that’s fine. TV shows count here, too.
For me:
It's clearly The Sound Of Music when I was very young. And Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood a little bit later.
Step 2. Find the link between them.
And once you have that, turn it into a question. This is your fingerprint question.
For me:
The link is about finding your people, creating your own world, being seen for who you are.
So my fingerprint question might be, What do I do with this deep yearning to belong?
Step 3 (Unofficial). Answer your fingerprint question.
Soooo Matthew didn’t do this step. I’m guessing it’s because your fingerprint answer lives as creative expression. It can’t be pinned down. It evolves as you do.
But I figure I’ve got enough perspective to look over my body of work and write my fingerprint answer. So here goes…
Fingerprint question = What do I do with this deep yearning to belong?
Fingerprint answer = You remember what it means to come ALIVE - you embody play and trust in the process.
With every project, I’ve been following my joy.
You might assume that I studied art in college. I did not. I studied interior design. And then working as an interior designer led to making theater props. That, in turn, led to painting full-time. Followed by making wood sculptures and wood automata. Then sewing got the best of me, and I made soft sculptures and fabric dolls. When my studio space got smaller, I focused more on watercolor drawings and writing.
There have also been monster puppets, paper theaters, murals, installations, scrolls, and boxes. Thirty years is a long time.
But none of this happened in any kind of orderly fashion. I wish. There was no strategy behind it. It was more about overlapping projects, involving a lot of experimentation. Working on one project would always lead to the next.
And I know, from the outside, it looks like I’ve never been able to make up my mind about what medium to work in.
But this could NOT be further from the truth. My mind has always been very much made up.
With every project, I’ve been following my joy.
It just so happens that my joy comes from responding to my fingerprint question.
And all the works in all the different mediums I’ve created are just different ways of expressing the same heartfelt message inspired by my inner spark. Looking back, I can see how my art, products, and courses are a testament to a life dedicated to creative exploration.
I still don’t have a clear destination. But I’m recognizing the thread of my own life. And I can see how my journey is about following the breadcrumbs and trusting my own light.
Ultimately, at the heart of my journey is the practice of showing up for myself.
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
- Howard Thurman
Following joy, unleashing creativity, and diving into playfulness – that’s how I shine in the world! So if ya wanna stay tuned in to my mojo, sign up for my newsletter. You can subscribe using the form below!
